Swipe Right for Monsters (Monster Match #1)

by R. O'Leary

Another window burst open beside hers. Hawthorne stuck his head out, his long hair falling tangled around his face. The silver burned bright in the dying light as he scowled at the werewolf. “Keep it down, fuzzball!” he shouted into the shadowed yard. “Some of us have to get up early for work!” Slapping her hand over her mouth, Nicole choked on her giggles as Wes looked up at the steaming elf and let out the longest howl yet. A polished shoe sailed high through the air and smacked against his furry face.

Tbh this was one of the best parts.

“Why is no one moving?” she growled. “You wanna live in this house and be my monster boyfriends, start writing!”

#girlbossmoments

“Who do I have to make out with to get some decent coffee?” she asked innocently. Five monsters stood at once and beelined for the coffee maker.

He shook his head, a smile tugging at his lips. He went back to playing with his tools and ignoring her bossy orders. Rude. And here she had been planning to go curl up in his lap and ask about his day. Now, he could sit and play with his wood all alone.

Nicole gaped at him. Was she really that oblivious, or were they actively teaming to keep things from her? “Is there anything else you’re keeping from me?” She glared at each monster in turn. Hawthorne had better count his lucky stars he wasn’t in the room, or else she would have glared a hole right though his head. Poisoned grass? Seriously? “Your car is leaking oil, and Drake keeps scratching up the woodwork with his claws,” Atticus recited tonelessly. “The fae broke an antique vase in the living room, and Jasper and I re-homed the squirrels to the shed out back.” Nicole stared. Un-fucking-believable. “I’m going to bed.”

“Suddenly being a vegetarian makes me ‘sensitive’?”

💀 himbos be himbo-ing

“Now you really have my attention. Make it quick, counselor; there’s a breakfast burrito and a king-sized bed calling my name.”

Actually me.