Between Never and Forever

by Shain Rose

“It’s been a whole damn year, Kee. A year of me loving you, and a year of you wanting me to keep it a secret. For what?”

“You can have me here,” I whispered. “Just not out there.” “I want you every-fucking-where.”

“I’ll never be your friend.” The words came out fast with fury. “I’ve told you I love you; I’ve promised myself to you. I want to marry you…not be your friend.” She gasped at my confession, yet I continued on. “You’ve always been my girl, my girlfriend, my future wife. Nothing less. Don’t you get that? I promised you forever, Kee.”

“I don’t know, Kee. All I know is that you said you didn’t love me once.” “I didn’t mean it.” I stepped back and away from her. “Yes, well, I mean it when I say I don’t love you now.” I didn’t mean it either.

“You come to my casino, my resort, have your fuckboy of a boyfriend propose on my property. And you’re wearing his ring like it belongs on your finger. Tell me it’s a joke. Say. It.”

“Because I could only look at you all night.” He combed a hand through his thick hair. “I’ve been with her for two years, and it’s been damn near fifteen years without you,” he said, and his voice suddenly held all the pain I felt. “And yet I hear your voice on that stage, look at you singing, and I still only want you.”

“I won’t stop until I have you. You know that, Kee. I won’t stop till I get you out of my fucking system.”

Dex Hardy, in a three-piece suit and all grown up, stood in front of me, ready to take over my world. And then he leaned in close and whispered in my ear, “Because your ass knows. You’re not marrying anyone but me.”

“Bend over the counter and face the window. Look out at the city I rule and feel how I’m going to rule you too.”

“Now, want me to fuck you nice, like this means something, or fuck you rough, like I hate you for all you’ve done?”

“Keelani Hale, you’re a star. You don’t need me in the crowd. You have your fans, your career, everything you wanted.” With that, he spun on his heel, walked up the aisle, and shoved through the doors. They slammed shut behind him, closing me off from what I thought our relationship could become. I stared at those closed doors for much too long and whispered out later, “Everything I wanted was you.”