Between Never and Forever

by Shain Rose

“I’ll never be your friend.” The words came out fast with fury. “I’ve told you I love you; I’ve promised myself to you. I want to marry you…not be your friend.” She gasped at my confession, yet I continued on. “You’ve always been my girl, my girlfriend, my future wife. Nothing less. Don’t you get that? I promised you forever, Kee.”

“I don’t know, Kee. All I know is that you said you didn’t love me once.” “I didn’t mean it.” I stepped back and away from her. “Yes, well, I mean it when I say I don’t love you now.” I didn’t mean it either.

“You come to my casino, my resort, have your fuckboy of a boyfriend propose on my property. And you’re wearing his ring like it belongs on your finger. Tell me it’s a joke. Say. It.”

“Because I could only look at you all night.” He combed a hand through his thick hair. “I’ve been with her for two years, and it’s been damn near fifteen years without you,” he said, and his voice suddenly held all the pain I felt. “And yet I hear your voice on that stage, look at you singing, and I still only want you.”

“I won’t stop until I have you. You know that, Kee. I won’t stop till I get you out of my fucking system.”

Dex Hardy, in a three-piece suit and all grown up, stood in front of me, ready to take over my world. And then he leaned in close and whispered in my ear, “Because your ass knows. You’re not marrying anyone but me.”

“I’m going to show him I can handle every single thing he throws at me, and I’m going to do it well.” That seemed to spark life back into Pink and pulled her from whatever nightmares were weighing her down. She punched at the ceiling. “Absolutely. Fuck that man up.”

“I don’t give a shit what you think you can do. That’s my girl out there.” I couldn’t help that my eyes cut to his fast. “Your girl?” “She’s been mine all the years you were too much of a coward to get over your feelings and do what you should have done long ago.” “What the fuck did you just say?” I stood up. Dimitri knew not to go down this road with me. He never did. It was a line he wasn’t supposed to cross. Still, he stood up too. “You heard me.” “What is it, exactly, that you think I should have done?” “You should have wifed her up years ago. She should be my sister-in-law.” He said it so matter-of-factly. Like I had a choice.

“I’m going to watch your every fucking move, Kee, and I’m not going to feel guilty at all. I’m here to protect you. Fake fiancée or not, you’re mine and everything that’s mine stays safe, heartbreaker. Even if I can’t decide whether watching you will break me or put me back together.” “That’s borderline obsessive, Dex.” “I didn’t claim to be sane, Kee.”

“Fucking sing. Show me you can handle it, Kee. I want to see you be what you want. Not a sweet girl but the damn firework you always were to me.”

“Jesus Christ—” “No. Kee Hale, the girl who broke your heart but also the one who’s going to put it back together.”

“You don’t need to get up and pull my seat out for me, Dex. No one cares here and—” “I’ll always stand when you enter a room, heartbreaker. You were the woman of my dreams for years and then the woman of my nightmares. Either way, you deserve respect for that.”

Me: Want me to end this meeting so you can repeat that and I can punch you in the nose? Dimitri: I would, but I’m investing your money because you can’t do math.

“You asked me once why I needed you in my home. Not just wanted. Needed. It’s because I was dying without you, Kee. Suffocating. Couldn’t fucking breathe without you. Is that answer enough? I didn’t commit. To anything. I haven’t loved a woman before you nor will I love another after you. I knew it then like I know it now. I have always loved you, and I hated you for that, Kee.” He dragged a hand over his face, and then he got down on one knee. “Only because I couldn’t be with you. So, you’re wearing my ring but I want you to say it too. Say you’ll marry me. Say we belong together. Say yes because I’m asking you now. Will you marry me?” “You’re not telling me?” I whispered. “I will if you say no, but I’ll ask first.”