Between Never and Forever

by Shain Rose

“Dex, this garden meant something to me,” I admitted. “It meant something to us.” His green eyes scanned the area. “A high school crush is barely something to fret over.” Flippantly, he dismissed all we’d had. “Is that all it was to you?” “What more could it be? You left and moved on. So did I.” Why did I want him to not mean it? Why did I need him to hurt like I did? Because I still loved him. I still dreamed of this spot. I still held on to the taste of his lips, the feel of his hands, the way his heart beat with mine. “I didn’t move on,” I uttered, my voice cracking under the weight of my emotion. “I called you and—” He stepped close to me and put his hand on my cheek as one tear fell from my eye. His thumb immediately brushed it away, like he was taking care of me even while the words he said were cold. “I didn’t answer, Kee, because I didn’t care.” “So you don’t care at all, then?” He sighed like he was dealing with a child, then he tilted my head up so his lips were aligned with mine. “Do you feel something when I kiss you, Kee? Tell me. Do you get butterflies?” This time he kissed me softly, so softly. My eyes fluttered closed to take in how featherlight his touch could be, how he could treat me like I was precious. “I feel everything,” I confessed because I at least could honor our relationship even if he wouldn’t. I opened my eyes to search his. “I want you still, Dex.”