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“Hannah Townsen wasn’t soliciting you for sex, dummy.” Her pretty brown eyes twinkled at me. “She was offering it to you for free.”
She did offer to get him a refund
I know for a fact she’s picturing you instead of them when she dances, and has been for over ten years.” Tina strolled back to the desk where she’d placed her bag and picked up her iced coffee, shaking the plastic cup and rattling the remaining ice. “I think—no, I know—she’s had a crush on you since y’all were teenagers. Maybe even before that. Girl has it bad.”
I didn’t know what to do about this strange dichotomy of thought, liking Hannah so much but also thinking about doing things to her—with her, for her—that weren’t at all respectable.
I closed my eyes, grinding my teeth because, Jesus fucking Christ, my body was quickly recovering and had ideas. Worse, my brain upstairs began concocting new plans: dates, places I wanted to take her, books I wanted us to read together, what we’d do for our first anniversary, what we’d do for our second, how I’d ask her to marry me,
“What I want from you, and the answer to your question is, I want you to like me in return. Ideally, a whole lot. I’d like to—uh—court you.”
If you really like a woman, offer to go down on her early and often. It’s how she’ll know you’re boyfriend material and it might convince her to give you a real chance if she’s on the fence. But don’t cuddle after sex with someone you don’t see yourself with long-term. It’ll confuse her, make her think you like her a lot, and that’s mean.
She’d cuddled with me, let me touch her, hold her. According to Tina, that meant she liked me. Hannah wasn’t mean, so the cuddling meant she saw me as someone long term. . . . Right?
“Hannah, you need to trust me. That idiot loves you. Maybe he doesn’t know it yet fully, maybe he’s wrestling with it. But if Isaac wasn’t in love with you, he would never touch you. And he certainly would never let you touch him.”
“No, Hannah, you obtuse obtusing obtuser!
“I don’t want him thinking I spilled his secrets.” My mouth dropped open. “Tina. You did spill his secrets.” “I know!” She let me go and flapped her lashes at me, giving me a winning smile. “But there’s no reason he has to know.”
You got a half-naked man in there and at least four hundred condoms. Do with the time what you will, I’m sure y’all will find a way to make it pass pleasantly.”
“If I’m not back in five minutes, take my phone, the car, and go. Go to Cletus Winston.”
Damn, you know it’s bad if he’s willing to send her to Cletus for help
“You know I’m not opposed to blackmail, dearest. Not at all. I’m just pointing out that any future progeny will inherit it from both sides of our family trees. Two dominant extortion genes. I couldn’t be happier.”
Looking at Cletus and Jenn, how they flirted and bantered, the light touches and long looks where they spoke with their eyes, I thought maybe such things as happily-ever-afters and true love existed.
