Spellbound in the Stacks

by K. Iwancio

If I didn’t find true love by the thirteenth year after the first transfiguration, I was doomed to be that animal forever. If it wasn’t for that itty bitty fact, I wouldn’t bother with this mess of dating. Or feel desperate enough to use cursed dating apps. Sure, they made it easier for antisocial people like me, but hell, there was little to no vetting process. Any sort of self-centered jerk could smile pretty for his selfie and make a half-decent profile.

I know babe There’s someone out there for you Even if there isn’t you know I’d adopt you I’d get you the best litterbox out there

Why they made such a big deal over something that they personally didn’t have to live with, was beyond me. It was a waste of energy on their part.

I went with the Star Wars: Revenge of the Sith Obi-Wan Kenobi. There was just something about the 30-something Jedi Master in that movie that showed incredible character growth and turmoil.

“Be a good kitty, okay?” He cooed to me with a long stroke down my body. I know I was a cat, but damn if it didn’t feel so good. “I’ll miss you.” Be still my heart. This man. Ugh. I seriously debated turning into a human right then and there just so I could kiss him goodbye. But I also didn’t want him to die from cardiac arrest. That would be just my luck. The moment I find out that a guy that I’m attracted to actually has the hots for me and I end up killing him.

“That’s good! What are you in the mood for?” Taking you out to dinner and a good night kiss. Dammit.

“So, uh…can I come get her? It's closing time anyway. I can follow you or-” “I’ll drive!” Wow. Thanks, body, for making me sound like a pre-pubescent desperate teenager all of a sudden.

“At least let me take you out for coffee for your trouble?” Wait. Wait. Wait. Did this gorgeous woman, the woman that I’ve had a crush on for almost two years, and currently standing in my damn bedroom, just ask me out…?

“Any guy who’s sweet to my cat can do anything he wants.”

I’ve had a crush on Obi-Wan since I was like…fourteen.”

How did this beautiful woman know books and Star Wars and just accepted my dinner invitation? Did I really just hit the proverbial jackpot? She had to be fucking with me and yet maybe… “Marry me.” The words escaped in a mumble under my breath before any ounce of the rest of my body could register them.

He was like a happy but derpy puppy that followed you around everywhere.

I didn’t realize that his attraction to me was strong enough that he’d propose marriage during our first full conversation.

“Well. That escalated quickly.”

“I mean…not really if you consider the past two years. It was the slowest slow burn in history. If people were reading our book, they probably would have DNF’ed it.”

I knew it was all bullshit. One guy probably got shut down by her and decided to spread rumors so as to not feel like a lesser man.

“Out of all the universes and worlds I’ve lingered in…” A tender kiss brushed against my earlobe. “...you’re the best thing I’ve ever found in any of them.”

“Whatever it is, you’ll be a spoiled cat. I’ll take care of you. I’ll give you all the lunch meat you could want. I’ll-I’ll even leave the Star Wars movies on repeat when I go to work, so you won't have to be alone.”