On the Line

by Naomi Loud

Now staring at his one-word answer to my question, my stomach sinks. Because I know what one-word answers mean. He’s in a bad mood. I don’t know what caused it but one thing I know for sure is that it’s somehow my fault.

It’s a bizarre feeling having to constantly defend myself for things I haven’t even done.

I used to value my parents’ approval more than anything … until I realized living for their approval meant sacrificing parts of myself.

“Actually, I’m great at it, salad boy.” Perking up, his eyes sparkle while he rounds the corner of the pool table. “Say that again, I liked it.” I laugh nervously, even though warmth spikes in my stomach. “Oh, shut up.”

“Yes, chef,” I say sharply, nodding diligently and Ozzy’s smirk widens.

“You’re going to go in the back, unwrap this.” I tap a finger on the Snickers bar. “And slide it up your pretty cunt.” Her breath hitches, and my cock swells against my boxers. “Then bring it back to me.” I crowd her just a little bit more. “I want to taste you on it.”

“You taste better than I could’ve ever dreamed,” Ozzy whispers near my ear, his hot breath tickling my skin. “I’ll make sure you lose to me more often.”

“I’d crawl on my hands and knees …” Leaning closer, I caress her cheek with the

back side of my hand and whisper in her ear, “To have you on my tongue again.”

I find the slit in her dress with my hand while the other digs into her nape. “Tell me to stop, princess,” I say raggedly, my movements becoming more heated and demanding while I hurriedly push her dress up higher. “Tell me you don’t want this.” Sliding my palm over the fabric of her panties, I add, “Tell me you don’t want my fingers inside your cunt, while your piece of shit boyfriend is within earshot.”

“If I could swallow you whole I fucking would, consume all of you just for another taste.”

“Careful princess, you wouldn’t want mommy and daddy to find out that their perfect little girl is getting finger fucked by the help.”

I’d crawl on my hands and knees to have you on my tongue again. Ozzy’s heated declaration floats back to me, reminding me that words can act like a healing balm. That words don’t need to hurt. They can glide over my skin, making me shudder with pleasure instead.

Relieved, I still scoff at her question. “Should I meet you there,” I mumble under my breath while I type.

She’s mine—until she finds someone more deserving.

“All I want is to consume every little piece of you until there’s nothing left but the taste of you on my tongue,” he says, much too seriously.

“Come on,” he says, pulling me up onto my feet and into his arms. He kisses my forehead. “Let me take you home.” “I don’t want to be alone.” The words slip out. I make no effort to take them back. Ozzy squeezes me closer. “We’ll sleep at my place.”

I hope I sounded comforting and not like I’m mansplaining cocaine to her.

I try to muster up a believable lie to help with my nerves while I bring her into the kitchen. I land on: She’s just another girl. But I know in reality, she’s not just anything. She’s James Ferdinand. And I’m down bad.

“You better not fuck this up,” I tell myself, pointing a finger at the mirror.

“What’s wrong, princess?” I lick the palm of my hand before continuing to idly stroke my cock. The question is rhetorical. I’m used to this expression by now.

“I’m not just going to fuck you, baby.” Ripping the wrapper open, I roll the condom over my cock. “I’m going to make you forget any other man exists.”

“If I don’t deserve to have it for even a fucking second, you, you fucking dipshit, definitely don’t deserve to hear about it.”

“James, this was never just friends for me. As soon as I first saw you, I knew you were about to change my fucking world, baby. I love you doesn’t even come close to describing what I feel for you,” I profess, kissing her lips, her nose, her cheeks. “But I’ll tell you every minute of every fucking day that I love you if it means I can keep you forever.”

Looking around the room at everyone here, I realize that’s what they all are. Not just friends, but a chosen family. And what’s more meaningful than to choose to love someone while they do the same in return? I would do anything for my siblings, but family is so much more than the lazy expectation of loyalty because of a family name. It’s showing up every day, no matter what. It’s love under no conditions.