Toxic

by Nicole Blanchard

There’s less chance of my having the hope of a better life if all the nothingness blurs together.

It’s a wonder something so mistreated can still respond to the cause of its neglect.

“You seem to think you aren’t my business.” “Probably because I’m not. I’m not sure what makes you think you have the right to interfere, but I don’t need to be saved. I don’t need anything from you.” “That’s where you’re wrong. I think I’m exactly what you need.”

It has been so long since I’ve felt anything other than violence and fear.

"Let me give you this. One kiss. I promise you'll enjoy it. Let me show you a little something sweet to take away from the sour. One kiss, and if you want me to walk away after I will."

"Gracin," he says, his lips so close they graze the shell of my ear. "My name is Gracin."

What kind of person wants more from a man like him? What kind of woman aches for another kiss from a criminal? Me. I want more. I want it all. I want it right here. Again. And again. And again.

“They could walk in at any second and see just what a dirty girl you are.”

“I’m playing a most dangerous game, and you’re the prize. Our deal is off, Tessa. I want you, and I’ll take you any way I can get you.”

What is broken inside me that I look for love in the worst places? Was it programmed inside me from birth or is it a product of my parent’s neglect? Am I just so fucked up that I’ll take affection wherever I can get it, even if it’s from the worst possible source?