Toxic

by Nicole Blanchard

It’s a wonder something so mistreated can still respond to the cause of its neglect.

“You seem to think you aren’t my business.” “Probably because I’m not. I’m not sure what makes you think you have the right to interfere, but I don’t need to be saved. I don’t need anything from you.” “That’s where you’re wrong. I think I’m exactly what you need.”

It has been so long since I’ve felt anything other than violence and fear.

"Let me give you this. One kiss. I promise you'll enjoy it. Let me show you a little something sweet to take away from the sour. One kiss, and if you want me to walk away after I will."

"Gracin," he says, his lips so close they graze the shell of my ear. "My name is Gracin."

What kind of person wants more from a man like him? What kind of woman aches for another kiss from a criminal? Me. I want more. I want it all. I want it right here. Again. And again. And again.

“They could walk in at any second and see just what a dirty girl you are.”

“I’m playing a most dangerous game, and you’re the prize. Our deal is off, Tessa. I want you, and I’ll take you any way I can get you.”

What is broken inside me that I look for love in the worst places? Was it programmed inside me from birth or is it a product of my parent’s neglect? Am I just so fucked up that I’ll take affection wherever I can get it, even if it’s from the worst possible source?

“I decided I was right when I locked you here so you couldn’t get away and get yourself into trouble.” I bristle a little, but he places a finger over my lips. “I wanted you here so I could make sure you were safe. Seeing you in the warehouse like that . . . it isn’t something I’ll ever forget. I realized when you came running into the room, and Danny turned the gun on you that I didn’t want to spend another day that didn’t have you in it. Letting you leave would be doing just that, so I’ll chain your ass to the bed if I must to keep you in my life.”

“I wouldn’t let you go,” he says against my lips, “but I’d spend every day convincing you to stay.”

If he’s an addiction, I welcome the rush. Give me another hit, and another, and another, until it kills me or gives me a taste of heaven.