Finding, and then losing, the one person who’d ever made me feel that I could be the man I wanted to be was also proof of it. Leland. I loved Selene, but I loved Leland more. I’d wanted Selene, but never with the bone-aching ferocity I experienced when wanting Leland. I was distraught by the loss of my wife, but what damaged me most was still wanting him even while grieving for her. All of that had been more proof of how unlovable I was, and how little I deserved love.
