The Fishermen (Infidelity #2)

by C.P. Harris

He felt trapped. I knew because caged men recognized other caged men, even if our prisons were of a different kind.

“You shouldn’t let anyone get away with giving you less than you’re worth,” he said.

“Wait,” I called out against my better judgment. Leland reached back without looking, wiggling his fingers. “You’re such a child,” I said as I caught up and took his hand, because “things are less scary when holding hands.”

“This might sound weird, because I hardly know you, but it’s so you to refer to a nanny as ‘the woman who helped raise me.’”

“Because you somehow feel different. A possible exception to my rule. And because I’m lonely,” he admitted softly, opening something in me and leaving me speechless.

And sometimes, it was nice to have a little company as you found your way.

Still, Daisy was resilient. She wasn’t supposed to last that long outside of her environment, but she thrived despite the odds stacked against her.”

“This daisy has hope,” I said, pointing at the vibrant, floating wildflower. “It’s taking a chance on the unknown, while the rest of the meadow opts for the familiar, even if it will possibly kill them. They go through the winter cycle. They go dormant. A consequence of fear.”

“Me too,” he whispered back. “But maybe one day we can both be daisies.”

“I wake up early every morning to watch you drink tea on the dock as the sun breaks past the horizon,” he said. “I love how the sun looks when it rises around you, when it makes room for you.”

“See,” I whispered. “You’re a daisy after all.” His grin was boyish and bashful as he whispered back, “So are you, Leelee Bear.”

Noon reached the door, stopping with a hand on the handle. “Leland,” he said, all traces of humor swapped for misgivings. Made it hard to be upset with him. “Don’t forget about the scratch-offs.”

“And then he wanted to take you from me. To care for you when I’d planned to basically dump you at the curb.” He grunted, then said under his breath, “No one takes anyone else from me.”

“Wasn’t the possibility of getting what you wanted worth the risk of rejection?”

“Leland,” he said, cradling my face between his strong hands. “I didn’t know my being withdrawn affected you so much.” “I love your darkness, Franky. And I would take being in the eye of your storm over being on the edge of it any day.

“Don’t ever fucking apologize while you’re fucking me, Franky.” My nipples burned to the third-degree, my throat was on fire, and I’d likely be bald by the time he was done with me. “Destroy me, Franky.”

“Has it ever felt like this, Franky. Has someone ever wanted you this much?” “No,” he breathed. “This is my cock now,” I said, even though time would prove that to be a lie. For now it was the ultimate truth. “I’m the only one who fucks this dick from now on, do you hear me?” My thighs ached as I fucked him with exuberance. “We get to say and do what we want when we’re like this, Franky. We can be whoever we want, live out all our fantasies when we’re together like this.”

Franky dug his fingers into my hip, getting high off the game, deciding to join in. “Your ass belongs to me, Leland,” he growled, the tip of his nose touching mine. “And so does your cock and your mouth. Your whole damn body is mine.” Franky’s palm whistled through the air, crashing against my ass and tugging a yelp from me. “Say it,” he snarled.

“My-my body is yours, Franky.” Franky took control then, force-fucking me on and off his erection. “I fuck this snug ass from here on out. No one else. And your cock gets no action unless it’s in my mouth or my hands.”

“I know you prefer one great friend over many, because it lessens your chances of people hurting you. Of them leaving you. I know you also prefer one friend over none, because being completely alone reminds you of how lonely you are.

I know deep down you believe in your artistic capabilities, but you do things like spend all your money prepaying your rent, because it gives you an excuse to not pursue your secret ambitions. I know you have one-night stands because you’re afraid of what falling in love will do to you. I should be petrified of hurting you, of being the one to prove you right, but I’m selfish, and I want you, Leland. Even if it’s just for a little while.”

I’d learned a lot during those days with Leland. I learned I could be a baby when sick so long as I didn’t have the pressure of always needing to be the strong one. I learned I could be nurturing, and weak, and childlike when I could trust that the person I was with didn’t need me to be a pillar for them.

She was right. If I could convince myself that I wasn’t any good, then I had an excuse for not doing something with my gift. It became harder and harder to keep up the charade every day. Especially with someone as validating as Franky in my life.

“So tell me, please, Leland. Where do you see yourself in five years?” Leland regarded me as if I were the biggest idiot he’d ever come across before whispering, “Somewhere still wanting you.”

“I’m not an easy man to deal with,” I warned him, planting a knee on the bed. “Tell me something I don’t know,” he said. “I’m not an easy man to love.” “Loving you will be worth the fight it will take to do so, Franky.”

“I’m stubborn, and selfish, and can get in my own way, and I sometimes show that I care by doing things that prove the opposite.” I nibbled at his lips as he scraped his nails along my scalp. “How many times do I have to say that I’m not afraid of you? When will you finally believe me, Franky?” “Maybe after you’ve loved me through my worst, Leelee Bear.” “Bring it on.”

“You don’t have anything to prove,” I assured him. “That’s easy for you to say. You’re not the one trying to steal a married man. You get to just sit back and reap the benefits of my insecurities,” he said.

“I don’t have money or a fancy education. I can’t give you more children, and I have zero prospects, but I can take your cock like a champ, Franky. So let me,” he ended with a plea.

“What I’m about to say next is unfair of me. I know this.” I increased the pressure on his windpipe before continuing. “I don’t want anyone else’s hands on you, and I’m afraid of what I might be capable of to ensure that doesn’t happen.” I’d backed us deep into his corner, my shoes bumping up against his bare feet. His cheeks were rosy, his eyes screaming bloody murder, but I didn’t care. “Don’t push me, Leland. You end things between us before you push me that far.”

I’d pushed him because I needed him scared, just as scared as me, because maybe if his terror reflected my own, he wouldn’t leave me to go be with her.

There was also a petty part of me that wanted to upset Franky by having Noon in his home, even if he ended up never knowing about it.

“He’s going to leave his wife for me—and before you accuse me of breaking up their marriage,” I rushed in to add defensively, “she cheated on him first, and they both agreed they could use some time apart to figure shit out. He wasn’t happy in the first place, but I make him happy now.”

You sound like your mama lol

“He doesn’t care about Nexcom. He wants to make furniture,” I said weakly, and for the first time it sounded stupid to my own ears. “Furniture. I see,” Noon said.

“So you’ll be the guy who made him turn his back on his family’s legacy to what, build coffee tables?

He’ll see this fantasy you’ve both been living for what it is, and he won’t choose you. They rarely ever do.”

He dropped his voice to a near whisper. “If he wants you, he’ll find a way to choose you no matter what. Remember that. Okay?”

Marks don’t mean you’ve hurt me, Franky. I’ve always bruised easily. I love it when your lips are on me, when your teeth sink into me, and when your hands are too firm,” I said. “Rough sex is my favorite. Rough sex with you is my favorite. And I more than returned the favor.”

“I love lace,” he said, now mouthing my caged bulge. I’d learned that tidbit of information from an interview Selene had done where she’d jokingly mentioned that her penchant for wearing the delicate fabric was due to her husband’s appreciation for it.

He ripped his attention away from my drifting seed. “I can’t breathe when I’m not with you, Leland. My heart doesn’t beat the same. It took being without you for a day to realize I’ve taken being here with you for granted. I couldn’t wait until the house was quiet, until everyone had fallen asleep, so that I could race back to you. No one can compete with you. No one.”

She smiled and said jokingly from her hospital bed, ‘Sunshine on legs,’ and I knew she was talking about you.”

“I bet you’re thrilled about this, aren’t you?” he asked. “Things would be so much easier for you if she were gone.” He couldn’t have hurt me more if he’d punched me with a brass-knuckled fist.

“You came here to hurt me. Why, Franky?” The light from the upstairs hall trickled down the staircase, spotlighting his wet eyes, and whereas he’d been operating on pure rage and pain before, he now looked lost. “I need you to hate me,” he whispered.

“Don’t you know that I love you too much to ever hate you?”

“You can’t love me,” he said. “Why not?” I asked, kissing his tears away. “Because… I can’t leave her now.”

Every time I see you, I’ll be looking for something to ease the pain, something to dump my pain on, something I can rage against. You would be getting the worst parts of me every time, because I’ll need to give her my best. It will slowly eat away at you, and you’ll eventually hate me.”

I’d spent weeks occupying the home we shared for the summer, weeks of fucking weeping in front of the fireplace, praying he’d come back to me, praying that he was okay. I’d become a desperate man, and when I looked in the mirror, it was my mother who stared back at me tauntingly.

What did i say?!

With Noon gone, and now Franky, I was the one thing I feared more than anything. I was alone. I’d been thrown out of a window again.

Franky was a man of few words, a man who could ruin me with one look, a man who could make me come with the promise of a single touch, a man who could make hate sex feel like the greatest expression of love ever known.

I’d worked non-stop for two years to be done with all things Franky. Turned myself inside out until I wasn’t even recognizable to myself. I’d built so many walls around me that not even sunlight could get in, only to find myself faced with our shared past again.

“And now what am I supposed to do? What am I supposed to do with him?” “He needs someone,” he said. “Please, take care of him.”