The Housemaid Is Watching (The Housemaid, #3)

by Freida McFadden

Is she insulting our beloved house?

Why did i laugh wtf

If she’s a real estate agent, how come her neighbors didn’t want her to sell their house?

Wait thats a good point-

Janice, is not very friendly. She hardly ever comes out of the house except to bring her son to the bus stop. I mostly just see her in the window, staring out at the street. Such a busybody.”

Erm thats weird…

But now, for the first time, I wonder if I have made a terrible mistake moving here.

Hmmm probably but ur fine dw

Okay, I’m pretty sure my son is telling me he wants to live at McDonald’s.

ima be fair. Who doesnt want to live at maccas?

Both of my kids look so much like their father, to the point where it seems they are both clones of him, and I was merely the incubator who birthed them.

Help whyy is this so funny help

When that happens, I’m fairly sure Enzo is going to have to walk around with a baseball bat all the time.

Help enzo as a baseball bodyguard if only

“How about a turtle then?” Ada suggests. I shudder. “No, please not a turtle. I hate turtles.”

HOW DARE U I WOULD LOVE A PET TURTLE

But I swear to God, if there are flies all over my beautiful new home, Nico is going to have to move out.

What did Nico do :<. 😭🙏

he’s able to befriend even the shiest kids. I envy his skill.

Same sister (ur probarly 5 or 3 times my ago but oh well womp womp)

“I love having a backyard, Mom.” Me too.

Course u do

Honestly, sometimes it’s like having a third child. Actually, he is more like the second child, because Ada is much more like an adult.

Help lmfao😭😭🙏🙏

(Who am I kidding? We’re lucky we can afford chairs and tables.)

Thats depressing 😃

By the end of this night, if I have not stabbed Suzette with one of these forks, it will only be because I’m not sure which one to use to do it.

😨

He clutches his chest in mock horror. “A woman flirting with me? Ma va’! How can I possibly resist that?”

Help a 50 yr old being sarcastic. 😭🙏

She reminds me a bit of those guards for the royal palace in England who can’t talk or smile.

ENGLAND MENTIONED RAWRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR. 🦅🦅🦅

I need to dip this kid in bleach tonight.

help slay millien we stan you

Oh my God. This is not better than it looks.

I feel like everything that looks nasty is nasty

“She’s horrible to him,”

No shit sherlock

Maybe there are things I don’t know about my husband, but I know for sure that he is a good man. He has proven that to me time and time again. And even if he weren’t, I still don’t think he would cheat on me. He wouldn’t dare. I am scared of you, Millie Accardi. And he should be.

wHoS afRaId oF lItTlE oLd mE~®

No, I’m being ridiculous. Like Enzo said, it’s probably just the house settling. Whatever that means.

Trust me it fuckinv isnt

“Mom, Mom, Mom, Mom, Mom. Mom.”

nico is my spirit animal omggvvg

Crash!

Not the oxymoron or whatever its caalled 😭😭

I have solved all my problems. And the sour look on Suzette’s face is just a bonus.

hehehehehe (shes prolly the guy making the noises)

“Are you dying, Mom?”

Im not ur mom but yh i am ^¬^

at least five years younger than he was. I think.

Ah yes thats such an age diffrence-

dark blond hair

I imagined her with dark brown hair not blonde

she is always keeping an eye on us.

wtf thats not very sigma suzette +¬+

I open the door so abruptly, I almost fall into the room. Unlike my daughter’s room, it’s a mess. The blankets are in a big messy lump in the center of his bed, and he’s got laundry strewn everywhere. And that awful praying mantis is still in the enclosure next to his bed.

Nico is my literal spirit animal and hes 9-

Shut up, Suzette.

Bitch i would hae beat the livog shit out of suzette by now-

Except who was inside my house, opening and closing this door while the rest of us slept?

SUZETTE IM GONNA FUCKIN MURDE U

had a bad experience that I’m not sure I’ll ever entirely get over.

Andrew bc u left 3 damn books on a table

“Suzette would be very interested to know that her new neighbor is an ex-con.”

I dont doubt ur one bitchy martha ;-;

Maybe she’s a kleptomaniac.”

If jail didng scare me annd if i didnt laugh at every single thinvg, even just thinking about something copetely irrelevebt, i would bea good thief ;-;

But she’s very clearly not interested in the game, based on the fact that she is sitting in the stadium with us, holding a paperback on her lap.

Thats so relatable omg-

“What are you reading?”

Imagine if shes reading twisted love or smth like that

Suzette turns out to be the person who was almost drowning.

Bro u should have let her drown that bitch

“What? You think I should let her drown, Millie? Is that what you want?”

yes times the amount of stars in the galaxy/universe

If Suzette turns up murdered, you will be first suspect.”

Actully i would be responsible 🤓👆

But it’s extremely hard to sleep when another woman’s perfume is tickling your nostrils.

ENZO HOW FUCKING COULDYOU

It’s Jonathan Lowell. And someone’s slit his throat.

WHAT. THE. FUCK.

he swears under his breath. As I come closer, I catch a glimpse of the dark red liquid circling the drain.

ENZO DID IT?!

Billy Joel?

DO U GET DEJA VU OH?

If I had a dime for every time I lied to the police, I wouldn’t have to worry about mortgage payments.

Oh! (i know bby)

I became the way out for some of those women.

Nina Winchester…

“Cecelia!”

YAY ITS MY TWIN POOKIE BEA!R!!!!!

He stands up straight and takes a shaky breath. “I’m so sorry, Millie,” he says. “I was not honest with you. I am the one who killed Jonathan.”

What the actual fuck enzo?

“I was the one who killed him.”

WHAT

My favorite flavor of ice cream is cookie dough.

Same

“I love you, Nico.” I will miss my brother being my roommate.

Thats sweet