The Wiener Across the Way (The Cocky Kingmans, #2)

by Amy Award

For all the women who’ve never been skinny dipping because you weren’t skinny. You can go chunky dunkin’ with me and the Kingman boys.

“That’s why her hair is so big. It’s full of secrets.” GRETCHEN WEINER, MEAN GIRLS

The only time I enjoyed being up at the butt crack of dawn was when I’d pulled an all-nighter between the legs of a lush and gorgeous woman. That was not why I was awake at sunrise today, and that just fucking sucked.

I was all up in my head and the only way to get out was a brutal workout, like the one I was inflicting on myself this morning at stupid o’clock early. I wanted punishing.

Although Jules was going to pee her pants when I told her. I may be a professional athlete, but even I got a little starstruck over Kelsey Best.

Nobody needed to know that listening in on the bits of songs she sang testing her equipment out lifted the dark cloud over my grumpy ass just a little.

Who the hell let a dog loose in the amphitheater? And a little yappy one at that? Dumb fuckers. It wasn’t safe. Coyotes or mountain lions would have no qualms about making a snack out of someone’s pet.

I followed the sound of the barking until I saw one of the weirdest things in my ever-living life. A sparkly blue blob was barking like some kind of stuffed animal come to life. Was this a joke? Either that or I was hallucinating. Must be the lack of oxygen to my brain from going twelve laps up and down the enormous steps.

The sweater was not yapping at some baby toy. Nope. That was a rattlesnake, and if I didn’t do something fast, blue fluffball of fur was going to die.

“Here doggy, doggy, doggy. Come here you dumb little poop, before you really piss that snake off.”

“Come on, poochy poo. Someone is going to be really sad if you get poisoned and eaten by that snake.”

“Has anyone seen Wiener the Pooh?” If I wasn’t afraid either me or the dog were about to die, I would have snort laughed. She named her dachshund Wiener the Pooh? I had to assume that was who was growling and wagging her tail in front of me right now. I quietly called her name, but it had the same effect as before. More tail wagging. Okay, time for plan B. I slowly pulled my shirt up and over my head. No, I did not think I was going to dazzle the snake with my abs. That would have worked if Chris or Everett had tried it, I’m sure.

Kelsey was already halfway up the steps, and the closer she got, the more I fucking forgot how to breathe.

She was so much prettier in person than on the screen, and that was saying a lot. I was going to have to hold her squirmy little dog in front of my junk, because my gray sweatpants were not going to hide the bulge forming there. Shit.

“Wiener the Pooh, come here you little poop face.”

Instead of moving further away at the news of that threat, Kelsey stepped closer to me, and fuck if I didn’t feel protective of her in that moment. I could absolutely see why her fans were ride or die for her. I was damn near ready to swoop her up like a fricking fairy princess and carry her off to safety right this second. But I was no knight in shining Under Armour.

Kelsey and her thick hips, thighs, and her ass were beyond delicious. God, she was exactly my fucking type.

Jules was going to die, come back to life to hear me tell her all over again, and then go catatonic, probably while listening to Kelsey’s collected works at full volume, on repeat. And the boys, well, every single one of them, except for maybe Chris who was happily engaged to the love of his life, were going to be jealous as shit.

“I’m telling you all, he sacrificed his whole-ass shirt to save Wiener the Pooh.”

I knew how I was dealing with it. The same way I dealt with everything else. I scowled.

“God, such a gentleman,” someone cooed. That was not the term most people used to describe me. Not that I was an asshole to the ladies or anything, but “nice guy” wasn’t synonymous with Declan Kingman.

One of the women surrounding me fanned her face with her hand and said, “Somebody thank this man’s mama for raising him right. Whew.” I mentally sent that thanks up to heaven. My mom had raised us right for as long as we had her.

She took my hand and the second her skin touched mine, I was a goner.

I almost dropped to one knee and swore my fealty to her right then and there. I might have too if Wiener the Pooh hadn’t come tearing across the stage and jumped up, hitting me right in the junk. I went down and got a face full of doggie licks.

According to the entertainment publications, FlipFlop, FaceSpace, and that other one that the electric car guy bought, the entire world loved me.

To be fair, there were a lot of unhappy little men who still liked to tell me to eat a salad on every single picture. Penelope wouldn’t let me reply that they should eat a bag of dicks. No matter how badly I wanted to. Luckily I had fans that did that for me.

I forced myself to be a morning person, but deep down, if I could sleep in until eleven, have brunch in bed, watch a movie or read a book until two in the afternoon, and then start my day, I would. Every single day. But that wasn’t going to happen in this life.

Well-fed reporters were much kinder to me. Although, god forbid they see me eat.

I’m so tired of big dick egos but no actual big dicks.”

I didn’t know diddly squat about football. Except they had cute butts. It was the tight pants.

Meanest player... I wasn’t fucking mean, just focused, determined, and got the job done. Grumpy on occasion, maybe.

“I swear, if you try some matchmaking scheme, you’re going to see who the meanest linebacker is when I squash you into the ground in front of the cheer team.” Everett’s grin widened. “Ooh. Do that anyway. Then they’ll feel sorry for me, and maybe they’ll kiss my boo boo and make it all better.” “Like most of them haven’t already kissed your boo boo.”

“Thank you, thank you, thank you. I always said you were the best older brother. Don’t tell the others I said so though. I still have to live with Flynn, Garrett, and Isak in the summer.” “Only the best for my little sis,”

“We’re gonna have so much fun. And just so you know, if any of your adoring fan girls try to crash our night, I’m totally prepared to take them down.” I laughed, knowing full well she could and would. “Why do you think I invited you? You’re the only one who’ll protect me.”

Dad chuckled, but his eyes were serious when they met mine. “You make sure she’s safe at that concert, kid. She’s my baby girl.” I nodded, understanding the weight of his trust. Moments like these were what grounded me. “I’ll look after her, Dad.” Jules gave us both her patented fuck-the-patriarchy glare. “I’m standing right here, you know. I’m not a damsel in distress.”

I’d go, I’d sing along, and I might even dance, but I wasn’t an actual Bestie. Even if I did have all her albums on my car jams playlist.

“I heard about the nomination,” Dad said, his voice even. “Meanest player, huh? That was me back in the day too.” It was the part of the ‘How I Met Your Father’ story my mom had liked to tell the most. He’d gotten that same nomination the season the two of them met. She’d always called him her growly bear.

Watching him pummel big dudes into the ground was so fricking sexy.

A laugh escaped me, light and unexpected. I was supposed to be working on lyrics, and here I was, getting lost in football highlights. I knew next to nothing about sports, but even I could tell he was really good. And I was... really turned on. Oh my god. Like... I might need to take another shower.

I pointed to the door, and for the first time in my entire life, my siblings actually did what I asked. That was sus. All except for Jules.

“Even me, your adoring little sister, to whom you can tell anything?” “Don’t you have homework?” I pointed toward the door again. She didn’t budge. “Yeah. My assignment is finding out what secrets my older brother is keeping from the rest of us.” Shit. She’d probably get an A plus on that.

Pen pulled up a picture filled with a whole army of handsome giants, including Declan and the girl. That’s their family? Who hit them with the supermodel stick? Every single one of the men in that picture was ridiculously good-looking. And built, and had those same sparkling eyes. Like... swoon.

But there was something special about Declan. His smile wasn’t as big as the rest of them, and he somehow looked as though he was everyone else’s bodyguard or something. I’d let him guard my body. Oh god. That thought needed to go straight back to the naughty corner of my mind where it had popped out of.

I pitied the man who ever tried to date their sister. All those brothers would be quite the gauntlet to get through to what I’m sure was the family princess. But she was already quite the knockout herself. She had a look that was oddl...

I was in so much damn trouble. I’d thought Kelsey was cute and adorable the day I’d met her and Wiener the Pooh. She had this sweet and engaging, girl next door thing going on that had starred in several of my fantasies since then.

But I’m sure that’s how most people felt about her. The princess of pop, America’s sweetheart. A talent to be cherished and savored for all generations.

Not to mention that ass had me on fucking fire. Every time she shook it in one of her dance moves, I just about came in my goddamned pants.

Each note she hit, each word she sang, resonated in a way I hadn’t expected. It was more than just a performance. This whole experience was a display of raw talent and passion. The crowd was completely in her thrall, and so was I.

Kelsey Best, the pop sensation most people knew only from headlines and her music, was in her element and it was sexy as fuck.

She was a force of nature on stage. No wonder people went feral over her. I got it. I wanted to rush up onto the stage right now, pick her up, and carry her away to savor. I wanted her for myself.