Failing Forward: Turning Mistakes into Stepping Stones for Success

by John C. Maxwell

If you repeatedly use your failures as springboards to success, then failure can become your best friend.

Your attitude toward failure determines your altitude after failure.

Teachability is an attitude, a mind-set that says, “No matter how much I know (or think I know), I can learn from this situation.” That kind of thinking can help you turn adversity into advantage. It can make you a winner even during the most difficult circumstances.

Contrary to popular belief, I consider failure a necessity in business. If you’re not failing at least five times a day, you’re probably not doing enough. The more you do, the more you fail. The more you fail, the more you learn. The more you learn, the better you get. The operative word here is learn. If you repeat the same mistake two or three times, you are not learning from it. You must learn from your own mistakes and from the mistakes of others before you.”

William Bolitho distinguishes between a sensible person and a foolish one: “The most important thing in life is not to capitalize on our gains. Any fool can do that. The really important thing is to profit from your losses. That requires intelligence; and it makes the difference between a man of sense and a fool.”

You cannot find out what you can do unless you do all you can to find out what went wrong. So that’s where you need to start.

Where did things break down? Were you in a no-win situation? Did another person create the problem? Did you make a mistake?

Always begin the learning process by trying to identify the cause of a problem.

You need to determine if what happened was really a failure. What you think is your fault may have been an attempt to fulfill unrealistic expectations. It doesn’t matter whether you place them on yourself or someone else does; if a goal is unrealistic and you miss it, that is not a failure.

An old saying states, “The gem cannot be polished without friction, nor man perfected without trials.”

No matter what kind of failure you experience, there is always a potential jewel of success contained in it. Sometimes it may be difficult to find. But you can discover it if you’re willing to look for it.

Lord Byron was right when he stated, “Adversity is the first path to truth.”

Restaurateur Wolfgang Puck says, “I learned more from the one restaurant that didn’t work than from all the ones that were successes.”

It’s difficult to give general guidelines about how to learn from mistakes because every situation is different. But if you maintain a teachable attitude as you approach the process and try to learn anything you can about what you could do differently, you will improve yourself. When a person has the right mind-set, every obstacle introduces him to himself.

One way to maintain a teachable mind-set is to cultivate an attitude of gratitude. And that’s possible even in the face of a huge disappointment.

Determining what went wrong in a situation has value. But taking that analysis another step and figuring out how to use it to your benefit is the real difference maker when it comes to failing forward.

If there is any single factor that makes for success in living, it is the ability to draw dividends from defeat. —WILLIAM MARSTON

Learning from your failures is always easier with the help of a wise counselor.

Seek advice, but make sure it’s from someone who has successfully handled his failures.

Once you’ve done all the thinking, you’ve got to figure out what to do next.

People change when they . . . Hurt enough that they have to, Learn enough that they want to, and Receive enough that they are able to.

Learning is defined as a change in behavior. You haven’t learned a thing until you can take action and use it. —DON SHULA AND KEN BLANCHARD

Don’t let your learning lead to knowledge; let your learning lead to action. —JIM ROHN

The most important single ingredient in the formula of success is knowing how to get along with people. —THEODORE ROOSEVELT

Your reaction to the circumstances of your life has everything to do with your well-being and your success.

If your circumstances constantly get you down, then maybe it’s time for a change—not in your situation, but in your attitude. If you can learn to make the best of any situation, you can remove a formidable obstacle that stands between you and your dreams.

Though we should always first examine our attitudes when we don’t enjoy our circumstances, sometimes a change in situation is also in order. Sometimes a case of mismatched abilities, interests, personality, or values can be a major contributor to chronic failure.

Few things in life are more frustrating than being stuck in a profession or organization that doesn’t suit you. It’s like always having to wear shoes that are two sizes too large or too small. Are you a salesperson stuck in an accountant’s job? Are you a corporate executive who would rather be home raising your children? Are you an engineer who would rather be pastoring a church? Are you an entrepreneur working for an organization whose idea of progress is moving backward slowly? Evaluate yourself and your situation. If there is a poor fit, think about making a change.

Bad things happen when a person doesn’t focus.

Anybody can make an honest mistake when things are hectic. But people lacking focus have trouble not because they’re too busy, but because their priorities are out of whack. And that wastes their time and resources. If you go from task to task to task without making any progress, or you can’t seem to reach a goal no matter how much effort you give it, examine your focus. No one can move forward without it.

Johann Wolfgang von Goethe addressed the importance of commitment: “Until one is committed, there is hesitance, the chance to draw back, and always ineffectiveness . . . The moment one definitely commits oneself . . . a whole stream of events issue from the decision, raising in one’s favor all manner of unforeseen incidents and material assistance which no man could have dreamed would come his way.”

If you’re committed, a failure doesn’t mean that you’ll never succeed. It just means you will take longer. Commitment makes you capable of failing forward until you reach your goals.

Perhaps the most relentless enemy of achievement, personal growth, and success is inflexibility. Some people seem to be so in love with the past that they can’t deal with the present.

You don’t have to love change to be successful, but you need to be willing to accept it. Change is a catalyst for personal growth. It gets you out of a rut, it gives you a fresh start, and it affords you an opportunity to reevaluate your direction. If you resist change, you’re really resisting success. Learn flexibility, or learn to like living with your failures.

The common denominator of success lies in forming the habit of doing things that failures don’t like to do. —ALBERT GRAY

A common obstacle to success is the desire to cut corners and take the short road to success. But shortcuts never pay off in the long run. As Napoleon said, victory belongs to the most persevering.

Cutting corners is really a sign of impatience and poor self-discipline. But if you are willing to follow through, you can achieve a breakthrough.

If you continually give in to your moods or impulses, then you need to change your approach to doing things. The best method is to set standards for yourself that require accountability. Suffering a consequence for not following through helps you stay on track. Once you have your new standards in place, work according to them, not your moods. That will get you going in the right direction.

Self-discipline is a quality that is won through practice. Psychologist Joseph Mancusi noted, “Truly successful people have learned to do what does not come naturally. Real success lies in experiencing fear or aversion and acting in spite of it.”

Talent is overrated. Not because it doesn’t have value, but because talent alone isn’t enough to take a person through the multiple failures that life brings. Adding a strong work ethic to talent is like pouring gasoline on a fire. It’s explosive!

The last major cause of failure is an absence of goals.

Joe L. Griffith believes, “A goal is nothing more than a dream with a time limit.” Many people don’t have goals because they haven’t allowed themselves to dream. As a result, they don’t possess a desire. If that describes you, then you must look deep within yourself and try to determine why you’re on this planet. Once you’ve discovered that, you’ll know what to shoot for.

Ours is a world where people don’t know what they want and are willing to go through hell to get it. —DON MARQUIS

Work on the weakness that weakens you, and there’s no telling how far you will go.

There is no failure except no longer trying. There is no defeat except from within, no really insurmountable barrier save our own inherent weakness of purpose. —KEN HUBBARD

Nothing worth achieving comes easily. The only way to fail forward and achieve your dreams is to cultivate tenacity and persistence. These qualities can be learned, partly by developing the habit of following through on your commitments when you don’t feel like it.

More than anything else, what keeps a person going in the midst of adversity is having a sense of purpose. It is the fuel that powers persistence.

Always bear in mind that your resolution to succeed is more important than any other thing. —ABRAHAM LINCOLN

Use the following steps to help you develop a desire. • Get next to people who possess great desire. • Develop discontent with the status quo. • Search for a goal that excites you. • Put your most vital possessions into that goal. • Visualize yourself enjoying the rewards of that goal.

Having desire alone will not get you through your failures. You have to forget about making excuses and keep moving forward,