I saw, beneath my screen name, my most private and primal wish, and I knew that Nell was seeing it too, that it couldn’t be undone and we would never again exist in a world without the image of me gagging on a cock, the fictional Theo Severyn standing in for me, choking as I was choking on my desire to inhabit his body and use it to gag on a cock, even as the scene was also very much about the real Theo and the very real desires that he’d awakened in me. I was certain that Nell, who never failed to understand me, understood all of this.
