I appreciated Gareth coming to my defense, but he was mistaken: the idea of joining in had never once occurred to me in the hundreds of hours I’d spent in contemplation (via film, fanfiction, or fantasy) of two dudes doing it. “No,” I said. “I don’t want to join in.” “Interesting,” my father said. “So in your wildest dreams, you’re merely a voyeur?” That wasn’t quite right, either. “No,” I said. “In my wildest dreams, I’m not there at all.”
