Angels Before Man

by Rafael Nicolás

And you, in His image — do you relate to Him? Do you relate to Him now, do you feel yourself an observer now, scratching at the pages? Do you watch the end approach impatiently or miserably?

Breaking the fourth wall in lit fic is so hot

that maybe he was too exhausted to ever save Lucifer.

do not.

This, this here, could be worship. ‘This—’ Lucifer pressed an innocent kiss to the prince’s sweet, divine mouth. This could be religion. Michael smiled at him, rare timidity in his eyes. All was as it should be, and they were happy.

“and they were happy.” Punctuation found at the scene of the crime. Again.

‘Complete, He said, but I don’t want to be complete; I’d rather be split and become full with you.’

Soulmatism pt 2. Also: erotic 😁😁

But when the sounds of heavy steps, approaching, came, they’d hastily rise. Gathering their clothes, taking each other’s hands, and laughing, they’d run away from Him, as fast they could. So that He doesn’t see, doesn’t notice. Two angels creating love, creating.

To create is a sin if you are not god himself!! RUN MG LITTLE YAOIS RUNNN

Something was wrong;

probably time to head out to the rickety stool and rope store

If there had been an altar, it would have been where Lucifer met Michael, where they kissed.

do NOT even start on the symbolism of that.

“I spoke to God,” Michael replied. “He’s sending me to Earth.”

still a cockblocking bastard i see

And He gifted Lucifer all sorts of things: earrings, flowers, necklaces — a particularly nice ring, with a dazzling diamond and some emerald and sapphire, for his left hand.

Married to god or kissing michael on the alter. (and he ends up with neither. Nein nein nein)

“What did you think of?” Why would God ask a question He knew the answer to? Lucifer thought, ‘Aren’t you in my head, my Lord? Aren’t you inside me already?’ “Tell me.” There was nothing gentle about His voice, though had God ever been gentle?

The word choice… pls tell me this allusion will amount to a metaphor and only a metaphor

“What have you done this week, in Michael’s absence?” His blinks were curious — “Oh? Well, I waited for him to return.”

“When you are in Eden,” the Lord said, speaking not sternly, but not kindly, “I should have your full attention.” “Yes, my Lord.” “What is an angel of worship, if he is not good at that?” “I’m sorry, my Lord.”

“My beloved Lucifer.”

He took Lucifer’s chin ‘the way Father did, earlier,’ but he didn’t speak, ‘and your eyes — they’re softer than His.’

When has God ever been gentle vs the archangel who calls you beloved

‘What are you doing?’ Lucifer glanced at Michael, lost in all the curls of his hair, lost in his body. ‘Are you hunting for new places to kiss? I’m out of them. I can’t offer you more of me. I’ve run out of myself to give.’

“I won’t say it again,” Michael said, cool as a cave, freezing. “This is an order from your chief prince.” He had never looked at Lucifer like that — never spoken to him like that. It was making the entire house swerve and topple in Lucifer’s mind until he saw nothing but whiteness, emptiness, confusion and terror, absolute terror. He wanted to reach for him, grab him, cry to him.

Lucifer, Angel of bpd.

Flickers of distress over his face — Lucifer nearly felt himself black out as he stumbled away, shivering. “Yes, Michael,” and he bowed his head the way he knew he was supposed to. And his face felt like it was melting off, as wax does from a candle.

Pleading, ‘I’ll devour anything you ask. If you want, I’d make ruin, out of this.’ For Michael. ‘Bring ruin to myself.’ The fire-crack of a spine and wetness spilling forth, trailing down the curve of his back. ‘God, if you listen, I’d create ruin, like you created me.’

‘Please don’t make me.’

In another universe, Rafael didn’t write this book and I wasn’t depressed and there would probably be a correlation between the two.

because Lucifer was good, he was made perfect, he was supposed to be made perfect in all that was good.

It was all backward: the scream first, anguish second, the realization last.

“All will be well,” Michael said. “I’ll protect you, Lucifer, from anything. Like I did from that beast on Earth.” A shaky, nervous laugh; it made Lucifer want to shriek for the third time. “I’ll save you. I’ll always be here to save you.”

I’m going to kill muself

‘He hurt me.’ “You deserved it.”

‘Michael’s jaw, his nose, his mouth, his eyes, his brows, his lashes, his mouth, his neck, his mouth, his mouth.’ Swallow. ‘My entire body throbbing in beats like a heart. Wanting to be yours.’

‘Devour me like a pomegranate and stain your tongue.’

“Lucifer.” Then, his mouth found the angel of beauty’s, and Lucifer nearly crumbled like a wilted flower. “I’m sorry.”

My pillow has little tear splotches

‘No! Don’t you dare remove your touch from me! I’ll die! I’ll be the first angel to die!’

so real

‘In vain, I love you; in vain, the dawn streaming onto you, beside me; in vain, I want to be yours, your angel. Angel of love, angel of Michael.’

what am i supposed to do with this

‘I wasn’t flesh,’ Uriel reminisced, ‘but from the hefty void that composed me, I forced a wing out, out through a ripple in the abyss I laid upon. I threw it before me, dragging myself into corporeal torture, as if lugging from ocean to mud — and I was dirty, I was dripping. I wanted to sob, because I couldn’t scream even if pain was all I was, but I couldn’t cry either, because you gave me eyes but no tears.

“I am Kimah. And you are Uri, and we are an angel.” Do not leave me then, I wanted to say, because now at least I am something.’

😕

‘Kimah. It was the only word in my mind for a while — not angel, not pain, just you,

‘The angels butchered each other; because they lacked so many parts, they tried to suture one being from what they stole from one another. I worried they would hurt us next, but then you took me, said, even never having seen me, “I take you, Uri, I take you, to have and hold. From here, forward, for the better and worse, for bountiful, for empty, incomplete, and together. Never will we part.” And we were one.’

the first vows ☹️

We tumbled over one another, and you were laughing — was that the first laugh? If only I could speak too; I was desperate to cry out your name, loud enough to hurt me, to end me.

we invented terror, we invented it from not knowing, not understanding.

Torture, battering, searing; please, please, I begged to no one, let me scream.’

so if u remember the agony of not having a voice, why would you relish in God doing the same to lucifer HUHHHH 🤨

“Set your eyes on your Creator, Uriel.” ‘But that will hurt. Flesh isn’t divine enough to withstand the Lord, not enshrouded. It will hurt me. Why would you want to hurt me?’

u and lucifer hate each other because you’re the same

In obedience, Uriel raised his sight to the Lord’s face, but he saw for only a second, before his world was red, flooding hot — his eyeballs tore to streams that spilled down his face, screams bursting from his mouth — but he was told not to look away, to remember the wrath of God.

😟

‘You picked him up, God. You didn’t let him say farewell to me, hoisting him to the sky to decorate the house you built.

kill him.

You gave me tears, finally, and a voice, and I sobbed with violence: “Kimah, Kimah, Kimah!”’

🫥

‘I’ve filled libraries with all the things I wanted to say to you.’

Oh Jesus fuck and it comes full circle 😭😭😭😭😭😭

“Is Father good because He is good, or because He says He is good?”

ATEEEE THAAAAAT

‘Have I really been called here just to be scolded? I want to go to Heaven. I want to see Michael.’ “Lucifer, you are displaying great insolence before your Father.”

Here we go

“You know you cannot run from me.” The stars began to reveal themselves to him, in the seas of darkness, beacons of light. “Brothers!” Lucifer pleaded to them, rushing as fast as he could, but a stray comet shot past, struck a wing, and flung him to the side. He cried out, falling over the wet ground of the abyss and tumbling down mountains of nebulae, before he settled, fast, stood — like when Michael taught him to roll back onto his feet, like when Michael taught him to wrestle, like when Michael showed him strength, Michael smiling, Michael, Michael holding his arms, squeezing them, taking his hands, Michael.

“I waited for your touch to save me” fuck. This.

The angel was no more than an embroidery, scurrying along a cloth tunic, trying to escape the wearer.

a white lily wilted in his hand. The angel begged for mercy, crying soft, as he was undressed. The Lord stepped onto the bed of flowers. And, wrathfully, He took him. Paradise, paradise, garden of Eden, garden of paradise.

I’m going to throw up

“Hm.” Angel of friendship — like Asmodeus’ only purpose was to be at a friend’s side, as if an angel’s purpose could be another angel.

How beautiful — to die. How merciful.

“What have I ever done to you?”

‘When I ran from Father, I thought of you. When he captured me, I thought of you. I waited for your touch to save me.’

going to be sick

‘I waited for your touch to save me.’