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Ronnie Childers was tripping his balls off in Jackson Square when an angel of the Lord appeared before him.
“My child is exactly how the good Lord made her. And any adult who suggests there’s something wrong with her can go straight to hell,”
Behind it stood a four-foot-tall penis cake rising from a base of two hairy balls.
You can call somebody whatever you want. It won’t change who they really are.
doom and gloom.
When you have everything, the only luxury left is taking things away from others.
As far as he was concerned, if your faith was shaken by foul words or sex scenes, then you must not have had very much to begin with.
Fuck all you fucking fuckity fuckers!!!”
He’d be swimming in so much cooch he’d need a snorkel.
“Sounds to me you don’t want to think at all. You just want to believe everything you’re told.
Using fear to control people is about as old as time.”
“Their cooters bleed for a few days every month.”
Beau wasn’t 100 percent sure what a cooter was. But if it was anything close to what he imagined, the idea was ridiculous.
Pink was the lady color. Boys were supposed to avoid it.
Men had penises and could pee wherever they wanted.
“Every human being has their share of monsters lurking in their family tree.
I don’t know how she manages to be evil and boring, but damn, if Lula ain’t killing it.”
Gather as much knowledge as you can, because information is power. And choosing how to use it is freedom. The more you know, the freer you will be.”
“He was reading it because your parents think that’s the book that turned you gay.”
live and let live. Be true to yourself and let others do the same.
“A beauty queen, a star football player, a famous general, a backward-ass little Southern town’s gay Black valedictorian, and to top it all off, an international movie star with a giant gash on his head who’s waiting in the parking lot for a doctor to finish treating the prom queen he knocked cold.”
Secrets are a disease that eats away at your soul.
“He’s a coward who can’t feel big unless others feel small. Someone like that doesn’t deserve your respect.”
There were still two and a half hours left before he was free to murder Lula Dean.
I had the world’s best midlife crisis.”
Giving a marriage everything you’ve got means one day you could be left with nothing.
You can’t have someone arrested for stealing something that’s worth less than ten dollars.”
And—most important—whose side would Jesus take?
Taken by the T-Rex. Satisfying Sasquatch.
“I’ve heard what Wilma can do with some coconut shavings and whipped cream.”
It’s like finding out you were born with a health condition. Maybe you didn’t do anything to deserve it. But if you ignore it, nothing’s going to get better. You gotta look at the problem before you can fix it.”
