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The sound of crying fills the air as the midwife fusses around Lia and a few nurses wipe the sweat off her forehead. “It’s a beautiful boy,” the midwife announces with a soft smile that vanishes upon meeting my gaze, then reappears when she directs her attention to Lia.
The nurse carefully places the baby in her arms and Lia holds him gently, lips falling open, then shut, apparently lost for words. The child immediately stops crying as his mother pulls him to her bare chest, which is only covered by a sheet. Even though the nurse wiped him down, he’s still covered with goo and blood. However, Lia doesn’t seem to care about that as she smiles at him through her tears. “Hi there, my beautiful angel.”
His small fingers curl into fists, resting on her breastbone, and his eyes move behind his closed lids as if he can recognize her voice. She spent the entirety of her pregnancy talking to him, making him listen to music and dancing slowly because she wanted him to be light on his feet. She even went out of her way and read to him when I know for a fact that she hates it.
I slide to the back with Lia and Jeremy cradled on my lap. Boris slams the door shut and Yan is already taking off before the other guard is properly inside. Our attention is on high alert as we watch our backs until we get home. Lia is shaking uncontrollably all the way in, with a steel hold on Jeremy, who surprisingly spent the entire ordeal asleep.
This is the first time I’ve felt like I have a family again. Lia and Jeremy. If I have to destroy the world and everything in it to keep them safe, so be it.
He’s so small and soft and the most beautiful thing I’ve ever seen. He smells of baby and summer and happy memories.
It’s been five weeks since he came into this world, and sometimes, I still can’t believe that I gave birth to this little human who looks like the purest of angels.
“You can ask Kolya. I was a good boy.” I scoff. “What?” He sounds almost offended. “I just find it hard to think of you as a good boy.” “Mmmm. How about you?” “What about me?” “Were you a good girl, Lenochka?” The sudden drop in his voice causes my insides to quiver and my limbs to tremble. There will probably never be a day where I will stop responding to him in this carnal way. “I was wild.” “Wild,” he muses. “I like that.”
“It’s the hormones,” I murmur, shame burning my ears. “I fucking love the hormones.”
He pulls away, a small smile grazing his lips. “I’ve missed you, Lenochka.”
I love him. I fell in love with the devil despite his monstrous nature.
Even in the darkness, I can make out his murderous expression. “Going somewhere, Lia?” As he advances toward me, I know, I just know that I’ve messed up any chance I had at freedom.
I didn’t think of it much at the time, but I liked how Adrian attentively looked out for me. I loved his aftercare and how he always made sure I was comfortable and satiated. How he held me every night and kissed me before leaving the house. It was his way of telling me I’m more than just an object of desire to him.
I love him. Despite his villainous nature, I love that he took care of me after my injury, that he continues to do so, even after I gave birth. That he devotes time to be there for me and knows my needs before I voice them. I believed he only wanted me because of Jeremy, but his attitude has never changed toward me post-birth. If anything, he’s been doing his best to take the load off me.
A sob tears from my throat, because I know, I just know that I lost a part of Adrian tonight. The part I fell in love with.
His eyes clash against mine, and unlike the past four years, there’s fire in there, passion, and the utter care I thought I would never see again after that night.
I…killed a man. I just killed someone. A person. And yet, no feelings wash over me. Maybe I’ve lost my soul now and there’s no way I’ll get it back. I had to protect Adrian. I just had to.
“Understand this, Lia. I might not hurt you, might not fucking kill you, even though you deserve it, but I’ll find that bastard, and when I do, I’ll fuck you in front of him before I slice his fucking throat. Then I’ll fuck you again in the pool of his blood.” I release her neck and she sucks in deep breaths, tears sliding down her cheeks. “Protect him while you can.”
“He’s blinded by you, Lia.” “By me?” “Yes. His obsession with you is forbidding him from thinking logically.
“I’m not his most precious person.” “Yes, you are, Lia. I’ve known Boss since I was younger than Jeremy and I’ve never seen him treat anyone the way he treats you.” “With disdain, you mean?” “You must me be joking. Listen, he’s not the type who allows anyone to cause him pain, but you were able to. You hurt him.” “No more than he hurt me.”
This is for my survival. I might love Adrian, but I won’t stick around until he’s bored of me, until he makes me go really crazy.
This Winter may be able to fool the world, but not me. She doesn’t have the permanently haunted expression Lia has. She might smell like her, but she doesn’t have that natural soft body scent that no one but my Lenochka has.
Seems I’m broken beyond repair, because since the beginning, I think I was attracted to the danger he promised. And that only consumed me until there was nothing left. He said he’d ruin me, and he did that with flying colors.
“Because I loved you.” I lay a palm over my heart and fist the material of my dress. “And it’s killing me every day.” He extends the hand of his uninjured arm. “Come down, Lenochka. Please.” “I took your hand before, Adrian, and you smothered me with it.” I smile a little. “I’d rather die quickly than slowly.” “Lia, no!” I close my eyes and let the wind take me down.
