I have to sneak around to watch him do those things with Jeremy. That’s when I realize I’ve ruined everything. Sometimes, I want to tell him it’s not true, that I lied because I was hurt, but his clipped words discourage me. He’d never believe me, anyway. Not when I held on to the lie for so long. He still allows me to volunteer, but he sends at least five guards with me now, probably searching for my lover.
