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We sleep wrapped around one another so tight, she’s the only thing I breathe. She smells of roses and sex and belonging. Lia is the only person I’ve ever wanted to belong to me, no matter how illogical and impossible that is.
she couldn’t actually have quicker reflexes than the four of us or Kirill and Damien’s guards. I believe that the only way she could’ve managed to pull you down that fast is because she knew about the hit beforehand.”
Exceppt she didnt and her reflexes were that fast
“She betrayed you, Boss. All evidence points at her.”
My senior guard straightens in front of me again and for the first time since we were growing up, he grabs me by the collar of my shirt, his voice rising. “Wake up, Adrian. You’re a traitor to the Bratva because of her and if you don’t use your brain, you’ll be executed by Sergei. I don’t give a fuck if you kill me, but I will not allow you to die now after how far you’ve come.”
“I’m going to ask you some questions and you’ll answer,” he cuts me off, his calm like a thousand needles pricking into my skin at the same time. “Lie and it’ll be the last you’ll utter.”
Uh ohh
“Angry? I’m not angry, Lia. I’m enraged, disappointed, in pain right fucking here.” He taps the center of his chest. “All I’ve ever done is protect you, even when you could’ve been a huge disadvantage for me.
“I killed for you, you fucking idiot! I killed the man Luca brought that day, because the thought of him hurting you made me lose my damn mind! That’s why my depression hit hard afterward, that’s why I was like a zombie to the point I couldn’t pay attention to my own son! Killing a man, even if he was a criminal, hit me hard and I couldn’t survive it. But do you know what the worst part is? If it were to protect you, I’d repeat it in a heartbeat.”
“Why didn’t you tell me?” “Because of the exact way you’re acting right now. I knew you wouldn’t believe me, that you’d think I’d betrayed you. I never have, Adrian, I swear. I couldn’t even if I wanted to.”
“Why not?” “Because I love you,” my voice cracks with the wrecking force of my sobs. “I’m in love with you, and that means I would rather hurt myself and jump off a cliff instead of causing you any pain.”
I wanted to tell you all about it but couldn’t muster the courage. You…you can be so scary sometimes and I didn’t want us to lose what we have.” “Well, congratulations. We already did.” My heart falls to the bottom of my stomach.
“Sergei found out that I killed Richard and he will demand retribution for such betrayal.” His voice is more frigid than the merciless snowstorm. “You…you…don’t mean…” “There’s only one punishment for traitors, Lia.” He retrieves his gun from the back of his pants. “Death.”
Well then.
“I trusted you, Lia, even more than I trusted myself. You were the light I wasn’t allowed to have and I did everything I could to protect it and not let it burn out. You were the only purity I saw in the world and I did my hardest not to tarnish it. In my own fucked-up way, I wanted to preserve you, to go against my nature and keep you, but I should’ve known it was only a pipe dream.”
I’m anchored in the moment, in life, by Adrian’s strong, protective hold. The thought of losing him fills me with a void so large, I hear its echo in my aching chest.
He pulls back from my mouth, and I release his lips with a low whimper. At least he was with me while fucking me, but now, he’s not. Now, we have to touch the ground after levitating.
My heart aches for him, even if he’s planning to do the same to me. I guess this is what it means to love. It’s to feel the pain of the one you love in spite of what he’s plotting for you.
“Are you…are you going to kill me now?” “Never.” No hesitation. No second thoughts. “I-isn’t that what you’re supposed to do?” “Maybe. But like you, I’m unable to hurt you, Lenochka, even if my own life is on the line.”
I do love you, Lia. I always have. But my form of love isn’t sweetness or softness. It’s nothing noble or delicate. My love is selfish and villainous. My love is the type where I will kill people to protect you and erase others to avenge you. My love is possessive, obsessive, and knows no boundaries, not when I first met you and certainly not now.”
He puts me to my feet, stroking my hair behind my ear. “I wish it could’ve been different between the two of us. I wish I were the man you deserve instead of the villain you’ve got.” “What are you talking about? Why are you saying things like that?” “Raise Jeremy well. My men will be able to ensure your safety.” “Why not you? Why would your men do it?” “I told you, Lia. The punishment of betrayal is death.”
Strong arms grab me, preventing me from going any farther. I think I hear Yan’s and Boris’s voices, but I can’t make out what they’re saying. All I’m focused on is the dot of black that’s slowly vanishing into the white. And with it, my life vanishes, too.
Lia, who used to tremble in front of a gun, killed someone to protect me.
“Is it worth it?” “Is what worth it?” “Losing everything for her?” A small smile grazes my lips. “Absolutely.”
While I figured Sergei didn’t call me in for tea, if he’s going as far as disarming me, this might as well be my death certificate.
Because even though I performed the act of living before, I’ve never truly lived until Lia came into my life. I meant what I told Kolya earlier, Lia is worth failing my system, digging my own grave, and putting myself in this unfavorable position. I would do it all over again if it means having her.
Vladimir stands and stares at me.
Ok he really needs to get laid or something and stfu
“Either you do as you’re told or you’ll face dire consequences.” “I’ll face the consequences.” “You’d rather die than fucking divorce that woman?
“I will not divorce her, Pakhan. If you want punishment, take it from me.” “You know what the punishment of betrayal is, Volkov.” “Fully. I watched my mother being executed by my father, per your brother’s orders.” “And you’re telling me that you’re ready to meet that fate for a nameless nobody?!” he yells, his face reddening. “Yes.”
Yan slams the cup on the table and jerks up. “You gonna go against your boss’s order and hurt her? Because you’ll have to get through me first.”
Love him
Yan sighs, his shoulders drooping. “Boss said—” “Your damn boss left me and went to his death, Yan. His opinion doesn’t matter.”
I stare at Boris. “What do you think?” “I think Boss will kill us.” He pauses. “But he won’t be able to do that if he’s dead.” Yan squares his shoulders. “I’m against this.” “Your opinion doesn’t matter.” I stand beside Boris. “It’s two to one.” Yan points a finger at Boris. “I’ll stand by when Boss gets your balls.” “I’ll gladly let him if he stays alive.”
The thought of his death brings a new wave of tears to my eyes. No. I would know if he’d died. I would’ve felt it in the corner of my heart with his name engraved on it. That corner has been bleeding since he left.
“It’s okay, Mommy. Papa and I will make it better.” It takes everything in me not to break down then and there, because those words? They’re the truest I’ve ever heard. Adrian and Jeremy have always made it better.
Adrian has always been our shield, and I realize now how much I took that for granted. I even forgot what type of horrors await us out there without him. Now, it’s my turn to save him.
“If you hate this so much, you could’ve let Boris come on your behalf.” He scoffs.
“No way in hell. I told Boss I would protect you with my life and that’s what I intend to do. Also, don’t even think about exchanging me with Boris. One, he’s boring. Two, I’m younger and better to look at.” “I wasn’t.” I smile at him. “I’m glad you’re here with me.” “You won’t ever get rid of me, even if Boss throws a jealous fit and ships me back to the Spetsnaz. I’ll find a way to crawl back here.” “You say that as if I would let him.” He gives me a lopsided grin. “Of course you wouldn’t.”
I love them
“I do not believe you,” the guard says. “I couldn’t care less whether you believe me or not, but I assure you that you will be sorry if he finds out I came here and you turned me away just because you refuse to fucking check with him.”
“He’s my husband and the father of my son. If you don’t help him, then you can forget you ever had a daughter.” “Are you threatening me, Lia?” “If that’s what it takes.
Because I still had a place I belonged to—the Bratva. But I’m ready to throw it all away if it means keeping Lia safe and with me.
“I believe it.” Kyle takes Rai’s hand in his and kisses her knuckles. He’s lean, too pretty for his own good, and British. “If someone touched my wife, I would slaughter them with my bare hands, even if they were the damn president.” At least he understands.
Damien raises his hand. “Pakhan, me! I want to punch Adrian’s face a few times.” Kirill throws a napkin at him. “Shut the fuck up, Orlov.” “What? Vladimir did it, why can’t I?”
gduebkwkhije
“What?” Damien stuffs his face with a cupcake. “Don’t leave us in suspense, Pakhan.”
I need his book so bad
“I saw the tracker moving when we were on the plane. Kill me if you like, but I had to turn a blind eye because I knew that was the only possible way to keep you alive. Thankfully, it worked.”
“How could you do that to me? How could you leave me behind as if I mean nothing?” “Nothing?” His jaw and voice tighten. “If you meant nothing, I wouldn’t have walked toward death for you.”
“You made me addicted to you and unable to function unless I get my fix, so don’t you dare think you can leave and expect me to let you go without a fight.” Tears cascade down my cheeks and my throat closes from the straining force behind my words. “Lenochka…” He extends a hand to me and I step out of his reach. “Don’t Lenochka me. I’m mad at you right now.
You would’ve killed me right along with you and ended the life you spent a lot of time and effort to save.
Just what were you hoping for? That I’d get over you and pick up the pieces of my life as if you were never in it?” “With time, yes. Isn’t that what you wanted all along? A life away from me?” “Idiot. Fucking idiot. You think I can live away from you when you’re the one who gave meaning to my life?” I sniffle. “I only said those words because of my fears and never once meant them.”
You’re mine and I only ever want you to stay mine, not someone else’s.” “Then don’t say you’ll leave me again. You’re my last stop and I plan to stay, not move on.” “You’re my last stop, too.”
Ballet was the only thing that made sense in my life and when I lost it, I was aimless and without purpose. Everything felt useless and empty. He was the exception.
Tears still cling to my lids, but they’re happy tears. Relief tears. Because unlike yesterday, I can finally breathe. I finally have the air that I’ve been deprived of since the moment he left me behind in that snowstorm. Now, I have my oxygen back.
What my husband doesn’t know is that he isn’t the only one bent on protecting me. I’d do the same. With my life, if I have to.
“Lia…” A muscle tics in his jaw and he seems to be reining in his temper. “This isn’t your place.” “Yes, it is. I’m your wife and that gives me the right to make decisions as much as you. If I hadn’t convinced Yan and Boris to go along with my plan, you wouldn’t be sitting in that chair.”
