Finding Gene Kelly
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Read between November 26 - December 5, 2022
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endometriosis
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Most of the time, people are too uncomfortable with negativity and pain for honest answers. Wanting to fix it, fix me, they offer positivity and solutions, which become toxic in their frequency.
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concussed.”
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He’s everything—late nights chasing fireflies, picking lilacs in blossom, boombox blaring, singing and dancing in the rain, and utter defeat and humiliation. He, frankly, is home. And I’m suddenly sick.
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second, I am and would always be so much more than my ability to create tiny humans inside of me.
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“Let yourself fall, Peaches. It’s okay. I’ll catch you,” he says with an unfamiliar softness. And against my better judgment and all my instincts screaming otherwise, I relent to the softness and give in to the lean, for now. 
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Maria. Maybe it’s because I’ve grown too tired of carrying this heaviness alone or maybe I figure if I disclose this bit, I can keep the far more dangerous truth buried down a little longer.
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The need to feel his lips on mine. The need to have his warmth on me. To no longer find myself wrapped in his scent but to be buried in it instead.
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A comment on how easy it is to fool the general public on social media, nothing more.
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Even if it ended in messy nights with ice cream and running mascara in the past, she’s always risen from the ashes stronger.
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How long have I been surviving without living?  And how long has my heart just been left to pump blood? Oh, damn
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“the only true language in the world is a kiss,”
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endometriosis,
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“Désolée,”
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But when Clare says she knows exactly how I feel, I can’t help but get the sense that it’s misplaced empathy. People don’t have to connect or commiserate to show kindness and compassion. Sometimes it’s better if it’s clear they can’t relate. 
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I’ve been trying to detach myself from the societal pressure that sexual intimacy is the be-all-to-end-all in a relationship. Because a relationship is a sum of its parts, not this one defining feature. Do I wish it was easy and amazing for me to have sex? Absolutely. Is that reality? Unfortunately, no. But that doesn’t mean I’m not worthy of being in a loving relationship.