The devaluing stage comes on subtly. They don’t call when they said they would. They don’t show up for appointments they’d agreed they would be at. Little acts that always come with excuses and send the target the message that they don’t matter. The CN will do things like invite you to dinner, then when you arrive, it feels like they don’t really want you there. You feel confused. They use the silent treatment to make you wonder if you are doing something wrong. A CN will control you through their moods, through looks they give you, through statements they make that may not seem like putdowns
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