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Kindle Notes & Highlights
by
J.M. Kearl
Read between
December 15, 2023 - January 2, 2024
“And you’re still mine.” “Don’t pull the possessive male horseshit if you’re not going to step up and do something about it.”
It was like the air was pulled from the room, making it hard to breathe, to think until the Black Mage set his garnet eyes on her, inspecting every inch, from her loose ebony curls to the glittering slippers on her feet, and then their stares met and it felt like her heart stopped and started all over again. For a moment she wasn’t afraid. It was like seeing the sunrise after only witnessing the dark, or the nostalgia of coming home after years of being away. He smiled at her as if he too might be feeling the same thing.
The Black Mage looked at Layala and said, “You’re awfully quiet today Miss Lightbringer. Are you going to tell him why you were looking for me or should I? Although I think he already figured it out.” His voice whispered in her mind, Because you missed me. You’re drawn to me even if everything in you wants to fight it. You can’t help it. So don’t fret, love, I’m here now.
“Thane does not want me anymore. I never fit in anywhere I go. Everyone hates me because I woke the Black Mage.” She swiped the angry tears spilling down her cheeks. “I was supposed to be their savior.” She lifted her chin and blinked the last of her tears away. “But I am no savior at all.”
“He’s not going to let you go, Laya. I’ve never seen anyone more in love than that elf,”
Despite her warring feelings, the intensity blooming between them grew with each passing second. It was torment not to kiss his lips when they were so close, and he smelled good. Not giving in, she started to lean away, and his hand wrapped around the back of her neck, stopping her escape as he finally pressed in, kissing her hard, weeks of built-up passion igniting in that moment.
“Look at me.” She turned her head, met his stare. The hate was gone, his features softened. “In the tower, I put you in that red dress for a reason. It’s what you wore the first time I saw you, remember? It was at my Uncle Balneir’s party. War’s father.” Layala shook her head. “You hadn’t left your territory in a thousand years. You hid away from everyone.” “I don’t want to hear this,” Layala snapped. You were the most beautiful being I’d ever seen. You still are, he said in her mind.
“You made a flower. Congratulations. I’m sure your enemies are quaking in their boots.”
“Lady, the High King asked us not to let you go off the property without an escort.” “I said, I’ll be fine.” She nudged Midnight’s sides and rode past them. They argued behind her, “We can’t let her go.” “Are you going to stop her? She’s called Fightbringer for a reason.” “Do you fear her or the king more?” “Her.”
The moonlight illuminated the outline of Castle Dredwich. Torches lit up arched windows from within and shadows of passing elves walked by on occasion. Her home suddenly felt foreign and invasive. Like it wasn’t home at all and never was.
“I was out looking for something and happened upon your creatures. So obviously I killed them. Even one less makes Palenor safer.” “They’re yours too, you know. You could command them if you wanted.” She lifted her eyes to him. “What?” “Haven’t you ever wondered why they’re drawn to you?”
The frustration fell from her face to one of confusion and she backed off, letting the dagger hang at her side. After a moment she brought it back up to eye level to inspect it, and Hel tugged his shirt down. A tiny bead of blood welled up from where the blade struck, and from there a new mark slowly appeared, the outline of a lily on a vine.
War slid his ax onto his back and cautiously walked around her then stared at the new mark beside many others Hel already possessed. “New shielding magic? Have you made yourself invincible now?” Hel tugged his black shirt back up and looked Valeen over. “It wasn’t me.” War’s brows furrowed. “Perhaps the Maker spared you and that is a mark you are favored.” “Perhaps.” He might believe so if he didn’t see the same mark on Valeen’s shoulder that hadn’t been there moments before.
She glanced down at her upper arm and did a double take. Her fingers ran over her skin, harshly rubbing at the new lily mark there. “What did you do to me?” “I was hoping you could tell me.” She jerked her head up and shoved both palms straight out in front of her. A powerful blast shattered that bubble and sent Hel and War flying backward. It wasn’t until he was on his ass outside the barrier to the night territory that he realized Valeen said she feared nothing, but that lily mark terrified her.
His warm hands gripped her face and he said with a shaky voice, “Don’t you ever do that again. Not ever. Gods, you drive me insane.”
There was a long stretch of silence where he held her, and she stared up at him. Was there something there? Some familiarity other than his resemblance to Thane? The red color of his eyes seemed wrong. Shouldn’t they be turquoise, like a warm ocean?
“In this story, once they met, they were drawn to each other. It didn’t matter if they tried to stay away, they always seemed to end up in the same places. They eventually became— lovers.” He turned the book around and handed it to Valeen. Her eyes fell to one line. Soulmate—an unbreakable union formed by the All Mother.
Once soulmates become one body, they become of one mind, and thoughts can be heard and spoken when desired. Mates are eternally drawn toward one another. Their mark is unique to them and may appear in many ways, however, it is typical when they become one flesh.
His smile widened making the dimple on his cheek deepen, and Layala’s breath hitched. For all his wickedness making him ugly on the inside, he truly was beautiful, like gazing up at the vast starry night and the wonder that came with heavens. Hel’s voice whispered in her mind, Careful staring like that, little rabbit, you might give the wrong impression.
“I told you already. I didn’t create the curse; it was a natural consequence of the balance of magic. They wanted more and more, and I gave it to them. I mean, gods they made me filthy rich, but then one day they started coming to me as white as snow and calling me master with bad habits of wanting to eat people. I was surprised myself.”
“They’re not moving.” Hel glanced back. “Oh them. That’s because they’re dead.”
“I also remember the promise you made me,” Thane said, deadly, lethal. “Don’t worry,” Hel purred. “So do I.”
“If you come near me, I’ll cut off your head with it.” She scowled at him with such steely assurance Thane believed her. “You may rule the underrealm, but I rule the night. I do not fear the dark, demon, I was born of it.”
“Everything that is mine is now yours, love—my territory, my power, my heart, my body, my soul, yours forever,” and that deep, soothing, honey-rich voice wasn’t Thane’s. It was Hel’s.
“I want you to look at me and see me.” Layala tilted her head slightly. She knew that wasn’t the truth, at least not the whole truth. “I do.” “See me, Val. Not the Black Mage, not a stranger. I want you to remember the last time we danced together, and you wore that dress. I want you to know why when I look at you, I die a little inside, and...” “...And?” Layala sounded breathless. “And why sometimes I wish the council would have had a weapon to kill me for good and put me out of my fucking misery.”
“So now you’re supposed to be my hero?” “Hero?” His eyes darkened and he sauntered toward her, stopping inches away; the curl of his magic slid along her skin, catching her breath. It wasn’t dark and frightening but sensual as if it wanted to wrap around her and know every part of her being. “No, love, I’m certainly the villain. I’m everything from your darkest nightmare. I will do things that will break your heart. I will kill whoever I need to fucking kill, and if it’s a sweet innocent human by mistake, then it’s collateral damage, and I won’t give it a second thought.”
He leaned in even closer and inhaled deeply, sliding his nose, lips along her neck. Her skin pebbled with the sensation of his light touch, and he slipped his arms around her waist. The most terrifying part of this scenario was she didn’t pull away and didn’t want to. “There was another story. Did you see it?” His breath on her skin made her shudder. “No,” Layala whispered, afraid to hear it. “Telvian Botsberry found half-dead, unable to speak because his tongue was cut out, unable to write because his hands were cut off. I suppose he shouldn’t have been telling and writing lies about a
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His chest rose and fell faster under her palms. His hands slid up her back, entangled in her long locks. “Your magic calls to me. I can feel it brushing against my skin like a lover’s caress.” She swallowed hard. “Please let me go.” Ever so slowly, he uncoiled his arms from around her torso, then appeared by the door in an instant, breathing heavily like he’d ran for miles. He gave her one last long look and then he was gone.
She was sinking into him all over again, and he didn’t want her to. He wanted to hold onto his hatred for her betrayal, for leaving him more shattered than anyone ever could have. He wished he could forget it all like her, to not feel the warring pain inside of wanting her so much his body could catch fire and hating her with the same amount of passion.
“It’s rude to stare, you know.” Layala cleared her throat and stepped around him and found what she was after. Along his back on either side of his spine a pair of black feathered wings marked the length from his shoulders to the base of his hips. “Wings,” she whispered and couldn’t stop herself from running her fingertips over the marks. Goosebumps rose under her touch, and she smiled. Then, she shoved him hard in the back and sent him stumbling off the cliff.
“We’ve been friends for a long time. And yes, you have friends but no one to share your life with.” War shifted, knowing where this was going. “I don’t offer this lightly or without much deliberation. My daughter Varlett fancies you.
“My fight is not with you Zaurahel.” “But you made it so when you came for her. You know that.” “Rumor was you dropped this one a long time ago.” His cruel smile tugged at the edge of his mouth. “You know, you’re looking more like me and my brothers than a god.” He tapped the corner of his eye. “Makes me wonder.”
“You don’t see what I do.” He lifted her hand and brought her fingers to his lips. A droplet of blood ran down her finger. “You don’t understand how I can hate you and want you more than anything at the same time.”
“Thane is going to kill me.” “Piper, it’s fine. We’ll make this quick.” “I might as well write the letter to my family for funeral arrangements because he’s going to kill me.”
“Yep, this solidifies my grave. It shall read: Here Lies Piper Fireheart, the fool who disobeyed her king.”
“That was… Terrifying and simultaneously one of the most interesting things I’ve ever seen. But you murdered six people.” She wasn’t as horrified as she might have been even a day ago. In fact, she didn’t care at all. Those men wanted to hurt her. “More of an execution rather.” “They really didn’t do anything except talk to me.” “In the book of Hel, that makes it justifiable.”
Valeen flashed into shadow and had Lily by the throat, dragging her out of the booth, and retook her solid form. She lifted her feet off the ground and held her by the neck. The room went quiet, even the singer stopped. Onyx shadows seeped out of Lily’s eyes, nose, and ears. “Valeen, wait.” “You think you can disrespect him like that?” “I apologize. It was rude of me.” “Rude?” She brought her closer, gripped her throat harder. “If you ever touch him again I will burn through your mind until you are nothing but an empty shell, unable to die but never live. He’s mine.” Her mouth opened and more
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Layala huffed and took another drink of ale. She should throw this drink in his face and walk out. But then she’d get no breakfast, and it was her favorite meal of the day.
“You know what I hate? I crave you in every conceivable way and I hate it. I hate the way you poison my thoughts, the way you infect every part of my being. I hate the way you laugh at things that aren’t even funny, even more that you’ve become so vulnerable. It makes me want to protect you, to worry over you and to never stop thinking about you. I can’t stop thinking about you, morning sun or darkest night you’re there. I hate when you nibble your lip when you’re thinking. I despise every dangerous curve along your body, but most especially this curve,” his thumb dragged along her lips. “I
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It wouldn’t stop with one kiss, love. She faced forward, unable to look at him. I know. I would want more. I know. Her throat thickened and tears came unbidden. All those things you said you hate about me… A long pause. Are what I love about you. And I can’t have you. That’s why I hate them.
“First she calls our marriage pretend, now she wants me to buy her diamonds,” Hel said loud enough for Presco to hear. Presco glanced over his shoulder. “Give her whatever she wants. Best advice my father ever gave me when it came to my marriage.”
Don’t look at me like that. Like I’d die for you a thousand more times? Because I would.
“We’re in dangerous territory again,” he murmured. Her chest heaved up and down rapidly. “I like danger. It makes me feel alive.”
“Don’t tempt me with that unless you mean it. If you think I’ll let you go back to him after I’ve been inside you, you’re fucking wrong.” One hand slid to her throat and his gentle touch was almost enough to make her lose it. “Once you give yourself to me, you’re fucking mine. There won’t be a choice.”
Layala felt like slipping away but Hel whispered in her mind, Raise that chin, love. One day they will kneel to you.
She and Hel locked eyes, Only if you want to, he said in her mind. But kissing on the mouth is special to you… You’re special to me, love. You’ll want more. I will always want more.
She peeked over her shoulder on the way through the curtain to see the others chuckling, Kira patting Hel’s forearm affectionately, and Hel staring after Layala with the kind of look that made her believe that kiss, last night, and the time they shared meant more to him than he would admit. That even if he said it didn’t mean anything, it meant everything, and he would forgive all her past and give her the world if she forgave him, too. And for one moment she thought there might not be a line he could cross that she wouldn’t forgive.
“Don’t make me torture you. I’ll do it with a smile.”
I found Hel in bed with Varlett. But that wasn’t even the worst of it.
“I don’t care about anything that happened anymore. If this life has shown me anything at all, it’s that you are the reason I breathe. I live in an eternal midnight, and you are my moon giving me light in darkness. I have no heart unless it’s in your hands, Valeen.”
