Not in Love (Not in Love, #1)

by Ali Hazelwood

dropping home to check on Tiny had put him a few minutes late.

...tiny?

“Eli Killgore,” she read. “This is not a reassuring name, Eli.”

“Here I am, trying to help you out in a difficult situation, and you repay me by being surprised that I can read.”

She took a step back. Eli was entranced. Her servant. Spellbound. He considered begging her to let him touch her. To let him go down on her here in the hallway. He would go grocery shopping and make her dinner off a YouTube recipe of her choice. He’d wash her car, read her a book, sit here outside her door and just make sure she was safe and protected. They could hold hands all night. They could play Scrabble. He was very close to imploring for something, everything, anything, when she added, “And sometimes the reason is that they should be broken.”

need my men desperate and submissive like this thank you very much

While he’d been drowning in her, busy unspooling the filthiest of thoughts, she must have been at work, because there were ten digits written on his palm—just enough for a phone number. And underneath, three letters that knocked the breath out of his chest. Rue.

If you ever get abducted, I’m going to cheese grate the guy’s dick and rescue you in no time—I

Like starting a new book before finishing the one already checked out from the library

so me

“Well.” She took a sip of her bubble tea, collecting her thoughts. “Eli and his friends are Harkness, and you know what Harkness is doing to Kline. I simply think that anyone who feels free to take what’s others’ without consent in one context might just be willing to do the same in another.”

that's a leap???

“Your damn mouth,” he murmured, “is the most obscenely lovely thing I’ve ever had the burden of seeing.”

But if having sex with him felt like a betrayal of Florence, talking with him would be pure treason.

FUCK THE GINGER BITCH

That was dizzying. And definitely pornographic.

bro this is the 3rd time he describes something as pornographic for no reason

And Florence, who’d snapped a progress picture of a shawl she’d been knitting for me in beautiful shades of red—my favorite color.

the ginger bitch's hair color too

Yes. Yes, because I had no doubt that Eli would stop if I needed him to. I nodded. “Good girl.” He kissed me again, firmly this time. “Because I’m letting you do it?” I asked against his lips. “No. Because you thought about it before saying yes.”

A MAN

Why are you denying this so vehemently? Why does it feel like you’re hiding something?

BECAUSE THE GINGER BITCH IS LYINGG

His rueful tone made me loop my arms more tightly around his neck.

rueful tone. RUE-ful tone... I'll see myself out

Q. Is it correct to say that you served as a mentor to all three of them? A. Yes, it is.

SHE LIEDDDD I FUCKING KNEW IT

“Perfect. Just close your eyes and relax, okay? The sooner you relax, the sooner we can do something fun.” “Like what?” “We could fuck again—that worked well. Or maybe you can suck me off. I’ll think about it.”

the way he says it so matter-of-factly

“Come on.” She laughed. “Hark and Eli were never going to get credit. They were grad students, for fuck’s sake. No grad student gets credit for the kind of ideas they help refine. Their contributions were grunt work. Was I supposed to share the patent with two men, just because they’d run a couple of assays for me? Please. I knew they’d be fine.”

ginger bitch.

Then he came to lean against the doorjamb—a bare-chested, bespectacled, body-built nerd who couldn’t have been more Tisha’s type.

he sounds like my type too

“Out of all the people I’ve met, the things I’ve wanted, the places I’ve been, none has ever felt as necessary as you do. Because I love you. I love you in a way I didn’t think I was capable of. I love you because you showed me how to fall in love. And I don’t regret it, Rue. I wouldn’t want it any other way. Even if you can never say it back. Even if you never think about me again after today. Even if you were right after all, and you’re not capable of love.”

“Like, in the shower? When you have those forty-minute conversations with yourself?”

ugh i love shower convos

“I love the name Rue. Big Hunger Games fan here.” She pointed at her abdomen. “If she’s a girl, and she is a girl, I’m seriously considering it.”

MY FIRST THOUGHT