Not in Love (Not in Love, #1)

by Ali Hazelwood

“NovaTech is going to buy Rue’s work of years, and then they’ll trash it so they can keep on selling their packaging. All because Florence lied to Rue with a contract that was never legally binding.” “Good recap. Infinitely shitty of Florence, but legal. Seems to be her

sweet spot,”

“We’re not going to lie low. We’re not going to let her sell Rue’s patent. Once it’s sold, it’s gone. Even if we later get control of Kline, we won’t be able to reverse the deal.”

“We’re not doing it because I’m gone for her,” Eli gritted out. “We’re doing it because it’s right.”

“It’s not the damn point. What Florence is about to do to her is exactly what she did to us a decade ago.”

“Ooooh, but of course, if you’re such a legal hotshot, why did you only now realize that Florence’s contract wasn’t binding?”

“Because, and this is going to shock you, I am a professional bankruptcy lawyer whose primary source of income comes from charging rich people obscene amounts of money for very small amounts of my time, and not from looking over my shitty sister’s shitty childhood friend’s shitty contract. I will allow a few seconds for your mind to be blown.”

“If it’s any consolation, since Florence knew she didn’t have the right to give you ownership of the tech, you could still sue her for whatever the company makes on the sale,” Nyota said quietly.

My project, though, had meant something. I’d cradled it and nurtured it, believing that it could make a difference for someone out there. But the contract wasn’t valid, because I’d trusted the wrong person.

Was this how Eli had felt all those years ago? This soul-crushing combination of shame, resentment, and resignation? “Is there any way—any

legal way—for me to make this right?”

“Because I’m on your side. That a good enough reason?”

“My project,” I said. “The microbial coating.” “Florence owns the patent.” I blinked at him. “How do you know?”

“I…maybe she meant to have the board ratify the contract and forgot. It might have been an oversight. I’ll talk to her and—”

“Listen to me carefully. Florence has been selling intellectual property to gather funds to buy back the loan. And she already has a buyer for your tech.”

“I’m working on this, Rue, and I promise that I’m going to fix this for you. I’m going to make sure you keep your patent. In exchange, I need you to promise me that you won’t confront Florence yet and that you’ll lie low for a couple of days. I’m in the middle of negotiations, and it’s important that you trust me.”

“Eli, you know how much this tech means to me.” “I do. And you know how much the biofuel tech meant to me.”

“I’m going to take care of you. I’m here to help you.”

“Florence is the reason you’re in this situation. Harkness may have precipitated it, but I’m not talking to you on behalf of anyone but myself. You’re the scientist I could never be, and I respect you infinitely for this, but these kinds of deals are what I know. Let me negotiate one for you. Let me take care of you.” My brain scrambled to consider the possibilities. This was Eli. I could

trust him, right?

“Rue, I need you to acknowledge that I’m not her.”

“Why would you…why would you even do this for me?”

“Why do you think, Rue?”

“Would you like a story, Rue?” I instantly nodded. I needed something—anything—that would help me understand.

And

then, Rue, I met you. And you casually cracked my life into before and after you.” His lips curved. For a moment he looked genuinely happy. “Out of all the people I’ve met, the things I’ve wanted, the places I’ve been, none has ever felt as necessary as you do. Because I love you. I love you in a way I didn’t think I was capable of. I love you because you showed me how to fall in love. And I don’t regret it, Rue. I wouldn’t want it any other way. Even if you can never say it back. Even if you never think about me again after today. Even if you were right after all, and you’re not capable of love.”

“Isn’t this the most tragic story you’ve ever heard?”

“You’re going to be fantastic parents. Obnoxious, too.”

And you’re going to be a great uncle who constantly spoils her and undermines our authority.”

I was going to tell her how incredibly shitty my life had been after what she did. About my parents, and Maya. How I had to take two minimum-wage jobs literally three days after it all went down, and the absolute mortification of failing at the one thing I cared about. I was going to take every single moment of misery and anger and desperation the three of us had in the past ten years and throw them in her face and ask her…” “ ‘Are you not entertained?’ ”

He always said that he wanted to make her pay.

Make her feel like a fool for what she’d done to us.

She has always been her own personal endgame. Played shady games, won shady prizes. If I hadn’t been negotiating for Rue’s patent, we could have kicked her out of Kline altogether. No five percent, no CEO. But I’m not even sure that matters, because everything she owns was built on top of lies, and she hasn’t changed. We have, though. And we’ve stood by each other.”

“And that’s the reason he’s in love with me and not with you. I make him laugh. In the privacy of our home.”

Rue made him stop and think, and above all she made him yearn like he’d not thought himself capable of, and he wanted to spend the rest of his life cataloging the ways she shouldn’t have been right for him, and yet still managed to be perfect.

“We control the board—and the tech. I think the way things turned out might be for the best.”

“We make really good money. We get to work with amazing scientists and help them develop amazing shit. And fine, yes, we have each other. Maybe it’s not what we’d envisioned, but it’s good.” Her eyes gleamed suspiciously. “And now you have Rue.”

“—but, I know this whole being-madly-in-love thing is new for you, so I’m going to impart a piece of wisdom to you. Ready?” “Go ahead.” “No one dies of a broken heart.”

“I want her to be all right more than I want to keep my dignity.”

“Okay, hit me. What do you need this fatigued, overworked, pregnant woman to do for you?”

Because your position has been terminated, you are eligible for a severance package that amounts to one month’s worth of salary for each year you worked.

“Can I tell you a story?” “You can tell me whatever you want, Rue.” She nodded. “I used to think that endings could be happy, or sad. That stories could be happy, or sad. That people could be happy, or sad. And I always figured that my ending, my story, me, would always fall in the latter.”

“But then I met you. And you made me wonder, for the very first time, if there was a flaw in my reasoning. Maybe people can be happy and sad. Maybe stories are messy and complicated. Maybe endings don’t always include solutions that tie everything together in a bow. But that doesn’t mean that they have to be tragedies.”

I want you to know, we don’t have to be. Because tragedies have sad endings, and we don’t have to have one. We don’t even have to be over.” Eli’s pace on the ice remained steady while the words penetrated his frontal lobe. “We don’t have to be over,” he repeated slowly, reluctant to let his hope color her words with meanings that weren’t there. “The last time we talked, Rue, I thought that maybe we’d never even started.”

“Rue, if there is one single thing that was never a problem between us, it was the sex.”

“But it overshadows other things I want to do with you. Talking. Listening. Just being around you. It’s so new to me, to crave someone’s presence. Wishing I could run something by you. Having meals with you—that you cook for me, preferably.”

He’d told her that he loved her, and she was admitting to enjoying his company. Maybe Eli had no dignity, but he’d take it.

“I thought I could never be happy. But with you, Eli…I have never felt the way I do with you. Never. And I think that’s why it took me so long to put words to it.”

Something I didn’t have the language for. It was growing between us, and I didn’t know how to name it. Even when I could finally imagine life as something shared. Even when I trusted you. Even when my mind was always full of you. There had never been anyone like you, and for a long time I didn’t have the word.” “What word?” “Love.”

“If you still want me to love you, I really think I can love you back. Because I already do.” Two tears streaked her cheekbones. “And if you don’t, I guess I’ll be loving you anyway. But if you were to give me another chance—”