Not in Love (Not in Love, #1)

by Ali Hazelwood

“Here I am, trying to help you out in a difficult situation, and you repay me by being surprised that I can read.”

The breeze picked up between us, and he kept looking, looking, looking. Looking. “It’s unsettling when you do that,” I said softly. He turned away, chest heaving. “I’m sorry.” His Adam’s apple moved. “I forget to look at other things, when you’re around.”

I remained still in the bluish quiet of the night, pretending to be a photograph of myself, emptying my mind of everything but the faint scent of petrichor seeping in through a window.

“Out of all the people I’ve met, the things I’ve wanted, the places I’ve been, none has ever felt as necessary as you do. Because I love you. I love you in a way I didn’t think I was capable of. I love you because you showed me how to fall in love. And I don’t regret it, Rue. I wouldn’t want it any other way. Even if you can never say it back. Even if you never think about me again after today. Even if you were right after all, and you’re not capable of love.”