A deep sadness welled up inside of me. For some time, I stood, silent and still, by my friends’ side, hoping the feeling would pass, but it only grew worse. The muscles of my chin began to tremble, and a great white noise rushed into my head, fizzing and buzzing, the way it always did when grief got the better of me. More than once, Holly tried to catch my eye, but I looked away every time. If I met her gaze, I knew I’d cry, and I didn’t want that, didn’t want her to see me with my defences down.
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