Things I Wanted to Say (Lancaster Prep #1)

by Monica Murphy

I’ve always had what I call ‘the darkness.’ I’ve never met someone who acts like he has it too.

Whit Lancaster. The boy who kissed me. Who wanted to fuck me and called me a whore when we were barely teenagers. He’s taller than I remember. Well over six feet, and his shoulders look so broad, clad in the requisite navy uniform jacket. His arrogance is palpable. He saunters into the classroom as if he owns the place, and technically, he does.

Money protects you. Insulates you. Those who win in the game of life, always win when they have the most money.

“My name is Sylvie, by the way. Sylvie Lancaster.” The moment she takes a good look at my face, she throws her head back and laughs. So loudly, I hear Miss Taylor shush her again. “We’ve never met before, yet I feel like I know everything about you.”

“You seem like someone with a lot of secrets,” Sylvie says, interrupting my thoughts. I blink her into focus, to find she’s watching me with narrowed eyes. “I’m an open book,” I lie. She says nothing. She doesn’t have to. Because she doesn’t believe me. She shouldn’t. I have all sorts of secrets. And every single one of them is awful.

I hate him. I do. But I’m drawn to him, too. The pull is there, tugging me closer to him, and I wonder if he feels it too.

“Don’t ever speak to Summer Savage again, do you hear me? If I see you so much as look in her direction, I’ll slice your balls off and feed them to you.”

My thoughts are riotous. Filled with Summer. What else is new? I hate that she’s all I think about. I’m a man obsessed. One would think I’d get used to the feeling, considering I’ve been obsessed with her since I was fourteen. Yet my thoughts of her haven’t waned over the years whatsoever. She’s always been there, lingering in the back of my mind, haunting me at the strangest times, or when I least expect it.

“You try to hide it, but there’s no use. You’re fucking beautiful, and it frustrates the shit out of me, Savage.”

“Do I scare you?” he whispers. Deciding to be truthful, I nod. “Good,” he breathes across my lips, his mouth so close to mine, I can feel it move when he talks. “Because you scare me too.”

We’re so aware of each other, I swear the air between us crackles and sparks with electricity every time we’re in each other’s presence.