Good Manners for Nice People Who Sometimes Say F*ck

by Amy Alkon

So, what should you say when a friend tells you they have cancer or some other horrible disease? “I know you can do this,” meaning, “I know you, and I know that whatever comes, you will deal with it.” Don’t say “you’ll be fine,” since you don’t know that they will be. —Cancer patient Jeanne Sather, assertivecancerpatient.com “I’m so sorry this is happening. It could happen to any of us. Life is so unfair sometimes.” This helps remove the blame or shame that people with cancer sometimes feel. —Cancer survivor Lori Hope, author of Help Me Live: 20 Things People with Cancer Want You to Know “You’re very strong. I can’t believe cancer would be dumb enough to try to go after you.” What I wish I’d said to my late friend Cathy Seipp.