Back After This

by Linda Holmes

“So,” I summed up. “You want me to host a show where somebody teaches me how to get a boyfriend. And it’s going to be sponsored by eating alone, drinking alone, dying alone, and cat toys.”

In your case, what we’re putting you on is a version of what’s called the Platinum Goddess Package.” “What is that?” “What does it sound like?” “It sounds like a gift basket I get for ovulating.”

He was black-and-white and massive, and I figured him for a Great Dane, since my only other thought was “marauding escaped cow.”

How’s Buddy?” “He’s good. We’re working on levels of recall.” “Like, whether he can remember his past lives?” He laughed. “No, like whether he can come to me when I say his name.” “How’s that going?” “You know, I think his attitude right now is that if he doesn’t have any other plans, he’s fine to do what I say.”

Betty.