The Penultimate Peril (A Series of Unfortunate Events, #12)

by Lemony Snicket

For Beatrice— No one could extinguish my love, or your house.

“There are countless wicked people in the world,

Deciding whether or not to trust a person is like deciding whether or not to climb a tree, because you might get a wonderful view from the highest branch, or you might simply get covered in sap, and for this reason many people choose to spend their time alone and indoors, where it is harder to get a splinter.

Some people think destiny is something you cannot escape, such as death, or a cheesecake that has curdled, both of which always turn up sooner or later. Other people think destiny is a time in one’s life, such as the moment one becomes an adult, or the instant it becomes necessary to construct a hiding place out of sofa cushions. And still other people think that destiny is an invisible force, like gravity, or a fear of paper cuts, that guides everyone throughout their lives, whether they are embarking on a mysterious errand, doing a treacherous deed, or deciding that a book they have begun reading is too dreadful to finish.

The blanket was heaped with enough food to feed an army, had an army decided that morning to invade a pond.

My brother used to say that if only one had a little more time to do some important reading, all the secrets in the world would become clear.

When someone is crying, of course, the noble thing to do is to comfort them. But if someone is trying to hide their tears, it may also be noble to pretend you do not notice them, so they will not be embarrassed.

“I’m a ballplaying cowboy superhero soldier pirate!”

For all we know, that bookworm with the eyeglasses could sneak up on us right here in the hotel and kill us to death!”

lololol.

I dearly hope you are not interested in finishing the story, any more than the story is interested in finishing you.

and even Sunny, who had just passed out of babyhood, was not born yesterday. Neither were you, unless of course I am wrong, in which case welcome to the world, little baby, and congratulations on learning to read so early in life.

“I suppose I’ll have to add the force of gravity to my list of enemies,”