If reincarnation is real, I hope I come back as a rhinoceros. Nobody fucks with a rhinoceros. You get to eat as much as you want and nobody calls you fat because if they do, you’ll sit on them and squash the fuck out of them. Plus, if you get lucky and live in a zoo, it’s all swimming and sunning all day long, and if you have delinquent relatives, well, you also have a horn to shove up their asses.
