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Whoa. Specks are a serious business.
A. Giant. Flying. Bull. “Wow. Holy cow,” I exclaim. Then I snicker at my own unintentional joke, because I’m hilarious.
“Just…play it cool.” He frowns. “I don’t know what this playing cool means. It is nearly summer. It’s hot out.”
Ohmygodshewantstokissme.
“Hey, bitch,” I snap. “That was not cool. Anti-cool. Uncool.”
“The bottle pretended to be empty,” I grumble, wiping my eye. “Lying liar fairy wine. It tried to blind me.”
A thought pops into my head, and I point at her crotch. “Hey! Do you have flowers down in your lady garden, too?” She quickly covers her crotch with her hands like I can suddenly see through her clothes. “That is a private garden,” she says haughtily. “Oh my gods, you do! You have vagina vines! Or, I guess it would be vulva vines? Or labia lilies? Whatever. Can I see?”
Well, sex on a horse. This reverse cowgirl’s ride is about to get bumpy.
Sizzling shit on a stick.
I pat him on his cheek. “That’s okay. You’re pretty. You don’t have to be smart.”
“This is not a joke, Okot. This is a code-vagina red alert.”
