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To all the people who have been screwed over by cupids sticking their arrows where they don’t belong. May your book lovers be way more satisfying.
So instead, I just raise a fist in bitter cupid solidarity. “Keep it real.”
“If I could kiss anyone in all the realms, I’d kiss you first.”
It’s like I landed on Sexy-Guy-Island, population: three.
“You were first, but that was before I knew you were such a giant ass.
Third smirks. “I like her.” “Nobody asked you,” Not-First snaps. “Fuck off, Ronak.” “Yeah, fuck off, Not-First,” I add. All three of them frown at me. Whoops. I guess I’m not allowed to say that.
“I don’t have a name, but I wish I did just so that I could refuse to give it to you,” I snap. Third laughs. “Yep. I was right. I do like her.”
I’ll just be here, holding a giant spoon and stirring the pot. I’ll stir it all day and cook up something really good.
Annnd my love lips just filled with lady lava.
I am pot stirrer, hear me whisk.
“Just…stop talking.” “Okey dokey, kitty cat.”
“But maybe, if we can get through the culling, I’ll consider not strangling him in his sleep.” “Please, don’t get all sappy on me.”
“I’ll just outrun him.” Everyone laughs.
