Outdrawn

by Deanna Grey

My stomach did a nosedive when I got a look at Sage. She had on black jeans with a purple bodysuit underneath, a worn leather jacket on top. Her face was bare of any makeup, dark skin glowing all on its own.

I’d been trying my best not to stare at her, but she’d stopped right next to me, and I couldn’t help but take lingering glances. She hadn’t looked at me once.

There was dead air I couldn’t quite make sense of, and I looked at Sage to see if she understood, only to find she was already glancing at me, the look in her eyes not seeming concerned with Tyson.

Because that first one was proof—I wasn't the only one who felt like something was changing between us.

Noah was unrelenting when it came to bumper cars. Her fearlessness was sexy. The second we got out of the cars after our fourth straight round, I felt like I needed a cold shower, anything to wash away the burning on my skin that begged me to kiss her.

It was hard to focus on winning when she'd been laughing so hard. Losing tonight wasn't so bad if I got to hear that laugh.

Besides, giving up a bit of control to her wasn't scary, not like it'd be with someone else. She was more than capable, and…well, she looked good leading.

I liked seeing the range, and I desperately wanted to see every other side of her.

It was official—flirting with Noah was ten times more fun than arguing with her.

Everything faded into the background as Noah became the only thing that mattered.

The more time I spent around her, the more I realized how I'd never seen her whole. I was closer than I'd ever been, and with every new reveal, I wanted more.

She'd flipped most of her twists to the side, and I was having a bit of trouble breathing at the sight of her profile. The woman looked perfect at every angle.

Mutual destruction didn't sound too horrible if, for a moment, I was able to touch her.

Fuck, I was now. I was an anxious person, worried if my crush felt a minuscule amount of how I felt.

She was as warm as I felt, and I had renewed hope.

"Not bad. Not good. Just confusing. Everything about this is confusing. Sage, you don't like anything about me."

God, that was so far from the truth now, it was laughable. I wasn't dreamy enough to forget everything we'd butted heads on; the things about her I’d originally disliked were still there. With context, though, I understood. Her over-helpfulness was an expression of how much she cared. What I saw as her being a know-it-all was her fear wrapped in the desire to prove her ability.

"I can still be lonely in a crowded room."

I think i've been shot

I’m lucky you even saw me as someone you wanted to kiss.”

“I’m staring at you, Sage. Not the bike.”

Her laugh was cute, and I had half a mind to turn around and kiss her again. Alas, I had a burger to get her and a spot to show her. Maybe she’d let me kiss her afterward.

Just a few months ago, I prayed she’d stop breathing down my neck in the charts. A few minutes ago, I wanted her to press her cheek against my shoulder blades and never let go.

My loneliness slowly but surely melted with each smile she gave.

Sage laughed again. The sound was lower and softer, and I imagined the smile that went with it. It would be small, with her mouth parted slightly. I was going to get to see that tonight. I was going to see every stage of her blooming laughter. Reality had never had me this giddy before.

I stopped marveling at the art to look at her. My cheeks burned when I realized she hadn't been staring at the paintings as intently as I'd been. Instead, she'd been watching me.

LITERAL FAVORITE MICROTROPE

"You look really beautiful tonight," she whispered in my ear. "Scared or not."

Her voice was soft, so I don't know how it pierced my chest when I heard it.

I counted down the seconds until I saw her smile in person.

Thank God she was here. A quiet home was usually my safe haven, but tonight, I couldn’t imagine being alone.

She waved her hand like it was no big deal, and I didn’t know how to convince her otherwise.

I didn't feel like I deserved a woman like her on top of me, but I was damn glad she was there.

Her apartment was so bare, with the only interesting thing in it being her.

From that point forward, I knew I’d refuse to be with anyone who didn’t savor me.

As long as she was willing to put up with my bullshit, every day was when we’d get another chance. I was hers…if she wanted me. She had to know that. I'd let her know that.

“What was there to say?” I shrugged. “That I wanted to die? How was that helpful?”

"Because I need to figure out what I want without being scared out of my mind that you guys won’t make it. You guys can make it without me; I’ve just never given you the chance. This is your chance.”

"Falling in love with someone who wants everything I do in the art world isn't something I thought would ever happen,"

"You think?" Sage came close again. "Or you know? Because Pastel, before you break my heart, please know."

All I knew for sure was that I was falling in love with her.

"Because I know I want to be with you," she said firmly. "I know I want to see your smile and hear your voice every day. I know I want to help you feel seen and heard. I know not a day goes by when I won't work hard to give you everything you deserve. I know that you want me to have everything I deserve. You're never going to make things easy. You'll never sugar coat things. I know when we're together, we are petty assholes, but we're also something beautiful, something far bigger than the art. I can't believe I'm saying this, but Noah, we can be bigger than the art. I know that."

"All I know is that I want to be with you," I whispered. "Even with all this fear, I want to be with you."

I’d been about to spiral into a full panic before locking eyes with her; she smiled at me in her easy way. What was once pompous was now my lifeline. Without even touching me, she made me feel like I wasn’t alone and reminded me it was possible I’d never be alone again.

“When I was a kid,” I explained, “but I don’t have anything left to give, and I need…have needed help for some time.”

"I don't believe in it, but you do. Even though I think everything you've done is because you're an incredible human being and artist, these flowers help you believe that too. So, I'm going to shower you with them for as long as you want."

After getting elbowed in the forehead in hour three, I started getting used to it." "You're very adaptable," I said. "It's one of my best qualities."

Sage's face lit up the second she saw me. She didn't try to hide it, and I didn’t hide my excitement either. As soon as I saw her, my pace turned into a light jog.

Sage laughed. "Hey, stop acting like I never take you anywhere nice. That abandoned parking garage is a perfectly respectable place. They repainted the parking lines last week."

And there was no doubt in my mind that Noah was my everything.

"I love you so much, Sage. So much that I couldn't think of what to say so I drew it."