Outdrawn

by Deanna Grey

My angsty, lesbian mermaids helped me afford to move out on my own for the first time since graduating.

yup last i checked, angsty lesbian mermaids tend to do that

Our time did more than overlap—it tangled. I held my tongue about the tangling, because it's too weird to explain how we had gotten close enough to draw in each other's sketchbooks but never exchanged phone numbers. It's too weird for even me to fully comprehend.

oh ? is sketchbook a code word for sumn else or 👀

I used to think I was in love with him before I realized he was simply a beautiful man who knew how to listen and express his emotions in a sincere, non-threatening way.

ik someone else u could potentially be in love w

The art world liked to compare our work because our styles were similar, but something deep inside me knew she had the potential to be better. My growing love for her story proved that.

no need to be embarrassed bae, that’s ur girl

The conflicting emotion I got from seeing how soft she looked versus how hard she actually was would never cease to confuse me.

oh my lowkey simp nation here we go

how pretty she looked.

simp

There were dark spots on her knuckles, matching the ones on her collarbone, and I got the urge to sketch them out. They were pretty and worthy of a story I was surprised I wanted to hear.

GAH SHE’S A SIMP TOO

The softness of her outfits mirrored the feeling one would get from watercolor paintings.

damn y’all be poetic for ppl who dont like each other

There was that desire to sketch her again—I want to draw her adjusting the glasses. I always thought Noah had great hands, her fingers long and delicate.

AGAIN W THE SIMPING

"They're nice hands," I defended, my cheeks burning. How the hell did I come into this break room so confident and devolve to a babbling mess?

complimenting her hands ? it cant get any gayer than that

The wind picked up her scent, carrying it to me. My grip on the phone tightened.

damn

She’d been gone for an hour and twenty-one minutes. I wasn’t keeping track of time in a ‘wish she’d come back way’, but a 'what the hell was taking her so long?' way.

oh yeah fs

"I need something epic if I'm going to have any chance of winning." Noah split the grape into smaller bits before tossing them into the grass. Her companion wasted no time pecking at the pieces.

omfg stfu she’s so cute

Was Noah some sort of cartoon princess? Because how else would she have some random animal on her side after only a week of working here?

real

Noah laughed, and I had to look away for a moment, because her neck was exposed. I resisted, pretending to trace the curve of it. I was totally not thinking about using a pencil and paper to do so this time.

u wanna draw her like one of ur french girls huh

I forced myself to maintain a steady voice when I said, "So I've been told. You know, I'm starting to think if you're the one to do it, it won't be so bad."

SHE PRACTICALLY TOLD U SHE LOVED U

Noah mindlessly traced her pinky along her bottom lip as she considered my words, and I’m instantly distracted by the gloss and how it might feel against my fingers. My heart pounded.

im right on board w this train of thought

"I'm serious." Amaya playfully slapped the edge of the wipe against my chin. "You keep fucking around, and you're going to find out."

wise words honestly

I straightened my collar and picked at my puff before realizing I was preening. Even though Sage hadn't seen me doing so, my cheeks burned at the realization I suddenly wanted to look good. Better than good. For what? To impress her. To get her to admire something about me, even though it was clear gaining her admiration would be near impossible.

oh trust me babe she admires u, enough to want to draw u from ur scalp to the tips of ur toes

I didn’t erase. No, I added to the sketch, placing a snake in the grass inches from the girl's feet. Once I was done, I put my pencil down and nudged it slightly in her direction in the hopes she’ll notice. She did and dragged over the sketchbook within a few seconds. My heartbeat picked up, but Sage didn’t even toss me a glance as she drew. Her hand moved quickly, with the efficiency of an artist who’d been doing this for years. She nudged the sketchbook back to me before Tyson turned to her with a question.

THEYRE DRAWING BUDS AGAIN YAY

Lots of things made me happy: art, perfectly seasoned rice, bike rides downtown, and now, apparently, making Sage smile because of something silly.

GAHHHHHH IM SMILING SO HARD MY CHEEKS HURT

"I'm not reading into anything," I said, even though I was already on the tenth chapter, deep into the footnotes. “Send me the dates and times, and I'll be the shiny queer artist you can market to sell units."

BAHAHAH

She might not be planning an enemies-to- lovers arc, but the set up was all there.

it’s the best arc in my humble and honest opinion

Still, instead of the smug smile inciting a desire to argue like it normally would, it made me want to get on her bike. For a second, I imagine how it would feel wrapping my arms around her as she rides. How soft the curve of her waist would feel against my fingers. How my thighs would apply pressure against hers. Sage sitting between my legs was suddenly a stomach-twisting desire, a warm want that grew hotter with each breath. I had to force myself to think of her cockiness, the way she rolled her eyes at my outfits or made snide remarks about my anatomy drawing skills. It was enough to wipe away my misplaced desire to cuddle up to her.

oh ???

As she leaned close enough to me that I could feel her body heat. Right before she made a joke, she looked at me, as if to make sure my reaction would be the first she saw.

y’all gotta stop being so cute

"Art needs that kind of bravery," Sage continued, gaze lingering on me for a moment. "Calls for more than one side of you. So, whatever you do and whoever you decide to be, make sure you try whatever calls to you with your head held high, and make sure you correct people when they try to tell you who you are. Because, trust me, they will always try."

sage i fcking love you

"Of course I noticed my viper wasn't biting," she teased.

wouldve folded so hard

Noah's company in our cubicle started to become my favorite thing about the day. I found myself counting down the minutes until she showed up.

simpster

"Noah.” I dragged out her name in a playful tone. The syllables felt good on my tongue. Had her name always felt like this? Like something I could repeat and never get bored of?

babe lemme hold ur hand when i tell u this

“What’s your plan?” I made sure my voice dropped an octave because I know it would trip her up. That cute look of dismay was too perfect to pass up. I wanted my words to get her as flustered as she’d gotten me.

ofc u do

Noah flexed her fingers throughout the conversation, and it was near impossible to miss her grimace. I chewed on my lip, trying to convince myself my next decision was a terrible idea.

it’s not it’s not

She looked good angry but even better calm. I’d been going about this relationship all wrong. I should have been trying to get her to look like this from the get-go.

yes yes yes i agree, the anger’s good tho, keep that up too LOL

“I’m not going to sabotage you,” I said while looking down at her fingers. Her hand looked nice in mine—protected.

GAHHHHH THE GAYS AND HANDS ISTG

“You okay?” I asked in a whisper, finally finding my footing again. “You look…” “What?” she whispered back. “Happy to see me or something,” I teased. “You’re the one who lit up as soon as I got here,” she tossed back with a smile. "In your dreams." "I wouldn’t put it past me," Sage agreed.

STOP THEY ARE SO ADORBALELELSLE

Losing tonight wasn't so bad if I got to hear that laugh.

#1 SIMP

"I have thirty in recent memory." "Thirty? Be so for real right now." I nodded. "I am. I could draw that expression on your face from memory at this point, with my eyes closed." She scoffed. "God, you're so dramatic. Love to see you try." "Got a pen and paper?"

THE FLIRTING BE GOING CRAZYYY

The star-shaped patchwork framing her ass was definitely… craftsmanship to admire. I did my best not to let my gaze linger. Still, I could safely say I'd be able to draw that part of her from memory, too.

GAHHHHH YOU DONT SAY

"So…I'm in your dreams now?" Noah tilted her head to the side as she studied me. I bit my bottom lip as I shook my head. "Do you ever let shit go?"

yes u are love

I liked seeing the range, and I desperately wanted to see every other side of her.

HOW MUCH CAN I POSSIBLY BE SQUEALING FOR THIS BOOK

My cheeks were on fire, and I loved it. It was official—flirting with Noah was ten times more fun than arguing with her.

you agree the audience agrees she agrees EVERYBODY AGREES KUMBAYAA

I was itching to take a photo of her for reference. We weren't at the 'taking random photos of each other stage' in our relationship yet. One day, maybe. Hopefully.

oh to be in love w an artist

Those kinds of feelings were all-consuming. I relaxed into them, letting the budding crush take over my senses. Everything faded into the background as Noah became the only thing that mattered.

OHHHHH ???

"I think we should have something to remind ourselves of how much we can't stand each other," I jumped in to smooth over the awkward silence. "You know, in case we forget."

oh yes of course bc that’s logical

Noah stared at me. "Careful, you're this close to complimenting me." "I'll go one step closer," I promised, because I needed to let some of the energy out. Maybe it'd help me feel lighter. "You look beautiful."

EVERYONE HOLD THEIR BREATHS ITS FUCKING HAPPENING PPL ITS HAPPENING

“It is.” Sage's face was tense with concern. “Thank you for telling me. Thank you for letting me know how I hurt you. I will do everything I can to not to that again.”

i love u i love u i love u

She smiled. “I know. But when it’s us, I want to make sure you feel safe to be, to do, say, or just be.”

GAHHHHH

“You stare at it any time I pull up.” “I’m staring at you, Sage. Not the bike.” “Oh.” I bit my lip, trying not to get too cocky. “I didn’t realize.”

AHHHHHH

Thank God she couldn’t see my face, and thank God it was too dark for other drivers to see me, because I was cheesing hard. I’d forgotten how good it felt when a girl held onto me.

asf

I felt warm, surrounded by art in a dimly lit hallway with a woman who was more beautiful than anything captured on canvas.

artists fr got a way w words

"So we're doing post-work wellness checks now? This relationship is getting serious." "Yeah, it is." My heart pounded. "I didn't get the memo." "That's because I made the decision all on my own."

🥹🥹🥹