Mistakes We Never Made (Mistakes We Never Made, #1)

by Hannah Brown

The wind whips my hair around my face, getting caught in my mouth, but I don’t care. I’m suddenly transported back to bus rides to debate tournaments when Finn and I would pass the time by playing round after round of truth or dare. I glance over at him, trying to reconcile this version of Finn with the kid I met in middle school—shy, and sweet, but with a biting wit that could surprise you. The breeze ruffles the sleeve of his shirt, and for a moment, I can almost see him—and not this semi-stranger that Finn has become.

Grief may be a heavier burden to carry, but I don’t think it poisons you quite the same way that bitterness does.

“A masterpiece”—Finn cuts off my questioning—“doesn’t have to be flawless. It just has to make you feel something, even years later. Something you go back to over and over, and you’re still surprised and delighted by it.”

I just want someone to take care of me the way I take care of everyone else.

“He’s like… he’s like the ocean. The feelings are just as powerful, but they’re steadier—like the tide, rolling in and out. Sometimes it feels like he’s the only one who can weather all my storms.”

As soon as I was old enough to take over that chore from my mom, I did. I think back to my wish at the fountain in Vegas. I just want someone to take care of me the way I take care of everyone else.

Just like with Finn, I can forgive him for the past without letting it define our future.

Healing. I could use some of that. So I say again, this time more earnestly, “I’ll treasure it forever.”

I can finally admit to myself that I love him. I’ve loved him for a long time, and even if he doesn’t love me back, I owe it to Finn to give him all the facts so he can make his own decision.