Twelfth Knight

by Alexene Farol Follmuth

“Of course it matters.” (It doesn’t.)

Well duh. Homecoming dances are just stupid things high schools do.

It’s all about smiles and compromise,

I know it’s addictive but I never thought you’d go this far

You forgot to bold it buddy

Hope it’s not too inconvenient.

Girl didn't even close her parentheses

My swagger is built on a foundation of adoration and envy. Hers is a flat-out refusal to let anyone tell her who to be.

using her are-you-literally-the-dumbest-boy-in-school voice, which is totally undeserved.

Ummmm suuuure

date I

Comma

afternoon I

Comma

point anyone

Comma

“You,” I inform him, “are the bane of my existence, Jack Orsino.” “As you are mine,” he assures me, and shuts my door for me.

I don’t have a relationship like that with anyone else.

Awwww

you know, you and your sister are weirdly alike

Omgosh you are literally so dumb that's literally her

Someone who keeps colliding with you, over and over. In everything you love, he’s there, too, and real or not, you can exist in every universe with ease because of him. Because for every version of him, there is a corresponding one of you.

wanting someone in your life doesn’t have to mean you’re weak. It doesn’t mean you’re soft. It just means there’s someone in this world who makes you like everything just a little bit more when they’re with you, and in the end, isn’t that something?”

“Everyone makes friendship seem like garden parties and sleepovers when really it’s Jurassic Park for emotions.”

lunch we

Comma

“Jack,” I say desperately, “you know I’m like … a bitch, right?” He snorts a little. “Sure, Vi, if that means you never give up. Never accept defeat. Never bend just because someone expects you to.” His hand still dances near mine. “If that makes you a bitch, Vi, then fine, I hope you never change. In fact, I hope you change me. I like to think you already have.”

It’s funny, but I almost hear it in Vi’s voice.

That's because she's saying it you idiot!

“You act like you’re alone, but you’re not. You’ve never been alone. You just didn’t want to choose what I had to give you.”

Because whatever pain love brings me, I wouldn’t give it up for a second. Not for a single irrational beat of my ravenous heart,

How could I not have recognized her? No matter what forms she and I take, I know her. I know her because of what she makes me know about myself. I know how it feels to have her in my life.

She’s the only one here worth beating.

(Sorry to spoil if you haven’t seen it, but

Wait this is a real thing??

For the first time, I am realizing how vast my edges are, how many things I have yet to experience. It’s a discovery that makes me feel brave.

“I think the best thing we can do in this life is take care of each other,” I said. “Which doesn’t have to mean marriage or babies,” I added quickly. “I just think maybe happiness isn’t crossing a finish line, or finally meeting the right person or getting the right job or finding the right life. It’s the little things.” Like finally seeing your contributions valued at a tabletop game of ConQuest. “It’s the thing that happens to you while you’re wide awake and dreaming.”

It makes perfect sense just then, that little lightning bolt of understanding that I can spot in moments of clarity. It’s not just about the endgame, you know what I mean? The game isn’t the dice. It’s who’s with you at the table.

If you’re the kind of person who feels angry all the time but you don’t feel like you’re allowed to be, I see you. If all the wrongs committed against you are too small and too infinite to be properly put into words, I believe you. Be kind to yourself, be good to your mind, be gentle with your heart.