“I see . . . do you think I’m a criminal? Because if you do, I need to tell you, it’s not in my nature to stab people. That’s the first time I’ve ever punctured anyone. I mean, there was that one time in seventh grade when I accidentally poked Basil, a kid in my class, with a paperclip, and when I say accidentally, I mean on purpose, because he said his boobs were bigger than mine, and he was flat-chested. So, I opened up a paperclip, and as he walked by, I jabbed, but I didn’t puncture his skin, only snagged his favorite sweater, which was more of a win, because it created an irreparable
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