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For the beta readers— who unknowingly participated in a cruel social experiment where I fucked with their feelings… and then laughed about it. You've earned this.
Arthur. Hmm… What does the woman obsessed with names choose for her own child? I type ‘Arthur name meaning’ in the search bar and click enter. The hair on the back of my neck stands on end. I push off my desk and chuck the plastic bottle across the room as hard as I can. “Fuck!”
“The giant is here! And holy fart feathers—he has presents! I told you it was a party!”
“Okay, I’m opening the last one! It’s a bear!” Barrett clears his throat and then looks over at Arthur. “I know you like koala bears, but since koalas aren’t really bears, I thought I would get you a teddy bear. Because your name means bear.” The knife falls to the cutting board, and I fan out my fingers on the counter. He looks down at me while talking to Arthur. “Did you know your mom used to call me Bear?”
We really gotta work on his finger painting though. NASA wouldn’t approve of their rockets looking like giant intergalactic penises.
“You’re a hell of a captain.” I remind him. He shakes his head. “Don’t even start with that.” “Alright, you’re a shit leader and you skate like old people fuck.” He holds his glove out, and I bump mine against it. “Always could count on you for a pep talk.”
Barrett: Cutting out early? Slacker. Me: …Says the guy who skipped dryland training to take Arthur to the zoo. Barrett: THE KOALA HAD A BABY, RALEIGH!!!
“Competition?” He cocks his head to the side, quirking an eyebrow. “No, love. Collaborators. We’re joining forces. When our powers combine—”
“You said the H-E-double hockey sticks word!” The H-E double…what? Oh! Shit. “Oooh, I’ll work on that. Sorry, buddy.” “I won’t tell Mom. It will be our secret.” Holding my fist up, he taps it with his. Raleigh didn’t raise no snitch.

