Catching Feelings (Orleans University, #2)

by Maren Moore

“Yeah, baby, we are different.” I laugh lightly, holding her gaze. “And maybe the only thing we have in common is how we feel about each other, but that’s all that really matters. We can be night and fucking day, Viv, and it won’t change anything. You come to my games even though you have no clue what’s happening. I’m pretty sure you called it a touchdown the other day, which really hurt my fucking soul, but you showed up. And I’ll take you to every haunted house in the damn country if that’s what you want. I’ll buy the ghost equipment and pretend I’m not ready to shit my pants if it makes you happy. You’ll be my date to stupid rich people functions, and you’ll act like you hate every second of it, even though I know you secretly like getting dressed up, and I’ll be your biggest fucking fan. I’ll send letters to every publisher in the country, Viv. Because I want you and whatever comes with it. It’ll work because we want it to. Because together, we’re better.”

“Reese?” “Hmm?” I hum against her mouth. “I want you, boyfriend. Right. Now.”

“I told you before, I’m not fucking leaving you, Viv. Not now, not fucking ever. Do you hear what I’m saying? I’m. Not. Leaving. Because I fucking love you. Do you understand that? I love you.” He pauses, his eyes burning into mine. “And this is what you do when you love someone. You stay. You show up for them.” He leans in closer, still holding my gaze. “I will be here to hold the weight when it’s too much. I’ll be your strength when you have none left. I’ll hold you, and I’ll take all the shit you wanna give me. I’ll be whatever you need as long as I’m with you. Let me love you, Viv. Let me be the one to take care of you and to be there for you so you’re never alone. I love you so fucking much that I can hardly breathe sometimes. I just need you to let me love you.”

“It’s m-my fault,” I repeat despondently. He shakes his head. “It is not your fault, baby. None of this is your fault. You can’t hold the blame for others’ actions, and it’s not fair to put this on yourself. Viv, you take care of everyone. You take care of Hallie, you take care of your mom, hell, you even take care of me. But you don’t always take care of yourself. You never put yourself first. You put every-fucking-body’s feelings above yours—their lives, their needs, their happiness. Fuck that, Viv. Fuck always putting yourself last. Let me take care of you for a change. Let me put you first. Let me fucking love you. I was made to love you, and I’ve never been more sure of anything in my life. Over baseball, over the minors. Over it all. This is what I’m sure of. I should have told you that last night, but I was scared to. I was scared that you’d run, that it would be too much for you to hear. But tonight made me realize that you run when the world gets to be too much, but I’m coming after you, baby. I’ll chase you to the ends of the goddamn earth.”

I’ve never told a girl I love her until today. I’ve never been in love in my life. Maybe with baseball, but that hardly counts. I might not always get it right, and I’m sure there are going to be times where I fuck up and you get pissed and throw shit at me. And times where you’re regretting your decision to be with someone who’s constantly on the road. But I’m going to show up, Viv. Every fucking time. I know you’re terrified that one day you’ll push me away and I won’t come back. But that’s not going to happen. Because I love you. And I think that you love me too.”

“Reese Landry loves me every single day in a grand gesture. He deserves a grand gesture of his own…. I love the way you wear a backwards hat and your big bleeding heart. I love your tender touch and how you hold me when I fall apart. I love your strength and how you always put me first. I love the way you see me, and sometimes I love you so much that it hurts. But mostly, I love the way that you love me. How I always imagined love would be. I love the way you caught me and the way you never let me go. I love you, All-Star, and I hope you always know.”