The Days I Loved You Most

by Amy Neff

All I want is to begin again, together, at the start.

“Most things end up back where they came from, honey,” Evelyn teases, bumping her hip against Jane’s. “But it’s still worth letting it find its way.”

who we once were is not always who we become.

Real commitment requires cultivation. It’s not about the tingle in your belly and a rush of adrenaline. It’s not magic, or fairy dust, that sustains a spark. Steadiness over time is what makes it beautiful.

Demanding more of me than I could have imagined, the saddest happiness I’ve ever felt, because she’s already bigger today than yesterday, already a little less mine. I’m already missing the baby she is, desperate to remember moments I’m certain to forget.

Love is walking hand in hand, following each other into the light.

she has always seemed to carry more in her heart, as if she bears all the emotions in the house

May these recipes always bring you home, bring you joy, and remind you of all the days we spent cooking and sharing meals, together by the sea.

“The best way I can think to say goodbye is to revisit it all...falling in love, having our children, the grandchildren, all of it...even the days we were lost. It’s not only the happiest days, though they’re a part of it.” Her lower lip begins to tremble. “But it was also the hardest days. The days I was lost, the days I thought I’d lose you. When everything fell apart but you were all I needed.” A tear falls down her cheek, her hand clasped in mine, a hold so tender I never want to let go. “Those are the days I loved you most.”

all I wanted, all I tried, was to be the kind of mother I had always craved.

A cemetery is not where we feel them, it is merely the place they laid to rest.

This life, together. It was enough. It was everything.

“I don’t know what heaven could offer that could be better than the life we had.”

Our world suddenly so quiet, just us two.