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“Anything to see me suffer, huh?” “Don’t feel too flattered. That’s not exclusive to you. I love watching the world burn.”
Outside of hockey, she’s been the only constant in my life for as long as I can remember, and doing a Christmas without her feels a lot like what I imagine it feels like to lose a limb.
Then, when I stopped complaining and started paying attention, it all made sense—my mother didn’t love the movies because they were masterpieces. She loved them for exactly what they offered: a happily ever after, something she’d been yearning for since my father dipped out of the picture.
“You, Lucas Lawson, are a player. And I don’t mean a hockey player. You use. You take, take, and discard like it’s nothing. You think you’re a godsend to everyone and walk around with a smug, obnoxious grin. You’re the exact kind of guy I want nothing to do with, and your whole schtick of playing cute and innocent with rescuing the dog last night isn’t going to work on me. I see through you, and I don’t like what I see.”
The worst part is…she’s not exactly wrong. It’s no secret I don’t do commitments of any sort outside of my hockey contracts.
She’s wholly her. A little grumpy and gruff, but her.
“Oh, wow. Sorry.” She swipes at her eyes, wiping away the tears that have welled. “Sorry. I just was not at all expecting you to tell me to fuck off.”
“I didn’t expect you to say something so psychotic like you don’t like bacon.”
“Of course I like bacon, Lawson. I’m not a savage. Anyway…”
This is not at all how I expected this day to go, but I can’t remember the last time I was so content.
I care that she’s wearing my jersey. I care entirely too fucking much. I’m standing here trying my damnedest not to cross this room and rip it off her, and not for the reasons she thinks.
Or maybe it’s just because sharing my feelings is the most dreadful thing I can think of.
“For you, Rory, I’d gather every star in this sky and string them high somewhere only for you, just to see you smile like that again.” Her breath stutters. “Making you a key is the best I can do until then.”
Do you have any fucking clue how wild you drive me with that smartass mouth of yours? The way you make me wish I could paddle your ass until you’re no longer able to smart off, only to let you up so we can start all over again?”
Even when I’m annoying or crass or do something to piss her off, she still doesn’t push me away and lets me in. Maybe… Maybe Rory could be that person I share all of me with.
“So let me do this. You’re always so busy taking care of everyone else. Let me take care of you.”
It’s okay to love blindly and recklessly too. You know why? Because we’re allowed to love. Just because our parents messed it up, it doesn’t mean we will. It doesn’t mean every relationship we have is doomed to fail, and it really doesn’t mean we should spend the rest of our lives pushing people away because we’re scared we’re going to get hurt. It’s not fair to us. And, Rory, we have to choose ourselves because that’s the greatest love story of all. Choosing ourselves, putting that trust into ourselves, and fighting for what we want, even if it doesn’t make sense to anyone else.
I don’t know how, I don’t know when, and I really don’t know why, but I do. Despite my best efforts, I’ve fallen in love with Lucas Lawson, and I have no clue where to go from here.
because I really don’t want her to go anywhere, not tonight or tomorrow or the next day, not next month or next year or even ten years from now. I want her forever. I want her for always. I want her as mine.
This man will do anything for me: buy me ice cream in the middle of the day, hold me when I break down, call me out when I’m being too bratty, worship my body and make me feel like the most beautiful woman on the planet, and take care of me even when I don’t ask him to. Lucas Lawson loves me…and I’m going to let him.
