House of Glass

by Sarah Pekkanen

People who endure childhoods like mine tend to go one of two ways, a therapist once told me. Either they try to give their kids the kind of parenting they wish they’d had, or they avoid children altogether.

Infidelities often begin with a slow blurring of boundaries, until crossing the final one doesn’t seem as momentous.

The families that look the strongest are often the ones hiding the darkest secrets.

I’ve heard this before from people who have been unfaithful. They don’t cheat because they’re wildly attracted to someone else. They do it because someone else made them feel attractive.

“Often, what we see in art is a reflection of us. Of our optics. Our mindset. Have you ever tried to read a novel and not enjoyed it, then gone back at another point in time and loved it? The story didn’t change. But you did. This is an insight into who we are at any given moment and what we bring to our unique intersection with art.”

You can’t protect yourself against loss, Stella. It’s part of living a full life.

The things we try to bury are often the things that need the most sunlight.

“Grief can consume us, so it’s a natural protective mechanism to get distracted by other things. Just because you sometimes feel happy or angry or you don’t think about Tina as often doesn’t mean you are dishonoring her memory. It means you’re trying to survive.”

I read once that we humans are wired to create patterns, even unhealthy ones. The dynamics we learn at a young age, when our brains are the most malleable, are the same ones we seek out as adults. Predictability feels more necessary to us than positive change.