Loud: Accept Nothing Less Than the Life You Deserve

by Drew Afualo

promise young men the time of their lives playing, partying, and objectifying women for their own pleasure. We girls were just trying to have a good time, too, believing we were also entitled to that, but coexisting among men never really makes that an easy journey, does it? We had to be cautious, but not too much. Be fun, but not too much. Be hot, but not too much. And despite that impossible balancing act, sometimes it still wasn’t enough to protect the women I love from getting harmed by men.

Beauty is subjective. It’s not the same in the eyes of every person. Everyone has a different idea of what they find attractive, and what I find to be insane behavior is some people thinking they have the right to comment on what other people like, or determine who is or isn’t attractive, when nobody asked them in the first place. Attraction is boundless, and it’s more than skin-deep. When you find what you’re looking for, you will find that person attractive around the clock, whether they’ve just rolled out of bed or are in a full face of makeup ahead of a night out. That’s true, foundational love, baby. And the only people who think otherwise are the same people that think they’re the president of the council of “who’s good-looking and who isn’t.” Those people are nothing more than insecure, and insecure men especially love to look at couples who are happily together and point out, unprovoked, if they don’t find one of the pair, and let’s be real, it’s usually the woman, to be conventionally “hot.” They are in complete shock whenever they see a woman who they don’t think conforms to the patriarchal ideal of attractiveness accepting romantic attention.