The Rom-Commers

by Katherine Center

I had some food in my stomach and some money in my bra,

“A great rom-com,” I said, “is just like sex. If you’re surprised by the ending, somebody wasn’t doing their job.

have you ever had fantastic sex that culminated in an epic orgasm and then said to yourself, God, that was so cliché. It should’ve had a different ending?”

“What is this?” I asked. “It’s a video game,” Charlie said, “where you power-wash things.”

“Look,” I said. “I didn’t request a…” I glanced back to the instructor for reference and then got stuck. “A six-foot-three backwoodsman with a butt like a quarterback wearing a longhorn belt buckle and ostrich boots. But it happened. What am I supposed to do?”

“There it is. The whole trick to life. Be aggressively, loudly, unapologetically grateful.”