The Ersatz Elevator (A Series of Unfortunate Events, #6)

by Lemony Snicket

If someone is excited, they will often put exclamation points at the ends of their sentences to indicate their excited tone of voice. If they say “Oh!” for instance, the exclamation point would indicate that the person is saying “Oh!” in an excited way, rather than simply saying “Oh,” with a comma after it, which would indicate that the present is somewhat disappointing.

you should always say that you are delighted with a present even when you don’t like it at all.

“Parsley soda?”

“Ersatz” is a word that describes a situation in which one thing is pretending to be another,

It was darker than a pitch-black panther, covered in tar, eating black licorice at the very bottom of the deepest part of the Black Sea.

“Armani,” Sunny offered, holding up an armful of Jerome’s neckties.

Oven mitts, as you probably know, are kitchen accessories that serve as ersatz hands by enabling you to pick up objects that would burn your fingers if you touched them directly.

Waiting rooms, as I’m sure you know, are small rooms with plenty of chairs for waiting, as well as piles of old, dull magazines to read and some vapid paintings—the word “vapid” here means “usually containing horses in a field or puppies in a basket”—while you endure the boredom that doctors and dentists inflict on their patients before bringing them in to poke them and prod them and do all the miserable things that such people are paid to do.

The passageway was still as dark as a bar of extra-dark chocolate sitting in a planetarium covered in a thick, black blanket,

“Geronimo!” Sunny cried, which meant something like “I don’t need to bite my way back down,”

Jerome looked confused. Mr. Poe looked befuddled, a word which here means “as confused as Jerome.”

They’re Very Fancy Doilies. What else could V.F.D. stand for?”