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“Oh cool, you remember! Nice to officially meet you, Brandon. Or, hold on! I actually found you a perfect nickname. Lotus flower. You know, because you managed to bloom so beautifully while surrounded by the muddy swamp that is Landon. Isn’t that so fucking poetic?”
Lotus flower!
I jump to my feet. “Fuck that guy! Suck my dick.” “Niko!” Jeremy clutches my arm and tries to shove me down.
Hahahaha!
“Yes! Get those fucking bitches,” I cheer, laughing and ignoring the lady in front of me, who’s covering her son’s ears.
Hahahaha!
I crash my lips against his. “Shut.” Kiss. “The.” Lick. “Fuck.” Bite. “Up.”
“Do you have no pride?” “What the fuck is that? Is it edible?”
“If I die, maybe. Scratch that, I’ll haunt the fuck out of you until you join me, my Prince Charming. Then we can have a fuck fest in ghost land.”
I grin. He loves me. I just know he does. Okay, he doesn’t, but he cares, and that’s a good start.
Other times, he tries to help, and that turns into a disaster. He’s just too chaotic. Whenever I tell him to do something, he takes a shortcut. He’s the type who mixes white and colored clothes and then says, “Well, they’re all clothes. Who cares?”
He drinks milk from the bottle and eats tuna from the can. Like a savage. Good grief. I get twitchy eyes just thinking about it.
“I’m off to fuck my lotus flower”
My jaw hits the floor as I read and reread his text to make sure this isn’t another one of my delusional episodes. Fuck. I can’t believe he admitted that out loud. Through text. But it still counts.
I cup his chin and stare deep into those eyes that have become my undoing as I say the words Grandpa said Russians take seriously and literally. “Ya nee ma goo bees tee byah zhit.”
“Okay.” He clutches my shoulders. “I just want you to know that you deserve to be loved in the light, Niko. Just like everyone else.”
So sweet of Jeremy!
“I can’t hate you, baby. It’s impossible.” I lift his wrist up and brush my lips at the edge of the cut.
“Please let me hold you like this. It doesn’t hurt when you touch me.”
I grab onto him, pressing him further into me, harder, closer, until I’m not sure where I end and he begins.
“It’s not fucking ownership. If I owned you, I wouldn’t give two flying fucks about you because I’d already have you in my grasp.” He clutches my hand and I wince at how hard it is. “I want you to listen to me and listen carefully. You’re part of me. That means I’m critical of you like I’m critical of myself. I see your safety as my own, sometimes even more so because you tend to think of others’ comfort more than your own. I hated it when you closed yourself behind a fortress and kept me out. I need you to understand that.”
I loved this from Landon!
“Don’t ever do that again.” He pants against my lips, his fingers pulling on my hair until it’s painful. “Don’t you fucking dare walk away from me or ghost me. I don’t give a fuck if you’re on a high or a murder spree. I couldn’t care less if you hurt me. You don’t come to me when you’re only okay, you come to me at all times. Am I fucking understood?”
“Hi, good morning,” I say with my most welcoming smile that I only show my parents. “I’m Bran’s friend from school.” His mom smiles. “Are you, by any chance, Nikolai?”
So imagine my fucking surprise when he threads his fingers through mine and smiles at his parents. “Yeah, Mum. This is Nikolai and he’s more than just a friend.”
Dear fucking God, I know you’re out there somewhere and I beg you, take this arsehole and give my son a normal lover. Just once, I want fucking normal.
This whole chapter had me grinning and laughing so hard!
First I get a psycho son. Okay, fine. Love that. Best challenge of my life and pretty sure I passed it. I didn’t need to have my daughter with a psycho boyfriend. And now, it’s the psycho’s psycho fucking cousin.
What the fuck have I done to deserve that? Was I a mass murderer in a p...
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“Oh, I’m sorry. I was supposed to be fucking glaring,” I say loud enough for everyone to hear.
There he goes defending the little fucker. I’m losing my children one by one to a bunch of wankers.
“Guilty as charged,” Nikolai says after he finishes the toast in two bites like a barbarian. “Honestly, I work out so I can consume as many pastries as possible.”
“I actually have a GPA of 4.15, sir. I might not look like it, but I have an awesome memory. Though your other son likes to call me stupid.”
Dear God, please blind my fucking eyes.
LOL!
My son is fully, truly, and irrevocably in love with the gangster. God rest my soul in fucking pieces.
My wife scolds me with those bright-green eyes that could make me do anything—absolutely anything—except for handing over my precious Bran to this wanker.
He’s not afraid for him, he’s afraid of losing him. The delinquent gangster motherfucker.
He smiles and I want to punch him, but I can’t, because my son loves this twat.
“Because this means I love the fucking shit out of you, baby. I can’t live without you and you’re not allowed to leave me.”
“Even if you hate yourself, I’ll love you for the both of us.”
As long as he comes back, I’ll murder his demons one by one until he’s ready to look in the mirror again.
“I love you, little bro,” he whispers. “I need you to know that. I need you to know you’re the first person I loved unconditionally and always will. I might annoy you, might act like a dick to get your attention, but that’s only because the thought of losing you scares the living fuck out of me.”
“Please tell me you top the motherfucker.”
“Bloody fucking hell!” He throws the door open and then shouts,
“How could you?” He strides toward me, his voice vibrating with fear instead of anger. “How could you try to leave me? Don’t you know I can’t live without you anymore?”
So seeing you bleeding out on the floor was no different than watching myself die.
Never giving that painting up. Will probably have to put a request in my will to bury it with me so that when I meet Satan, I can tell him all about my lotus flower.
My fav line in the entire book.
