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I manage to lie to myself for a few hours, only to relapse to daunting bad habits again.
But more alone time only pushes me toward bad habits. Cutting and blood and fucking self-loathing. I’m spiraling and I can’t stop it. I’m falling and can’t hit the bottom.
It doesn’t get better as he likes to say. It’s not an addiction that he can withdraw from without addressing the reason he does it in the first place.
The reason I posted stories with #NewDay every day is because I was proud for surviving another day, for not letting my head get the better of me and pushing me down the cliff of my sanity.
When I was young, I realized that my perception of the world differed from that of others my age.
I need you to know you’re the first person I loved unconditionally and always will.

